I saw a marriage proposal on Mashable today - it was adorable. It got me thinking of Steve's proposal to me.
To go clarify a few things - Steve and I weren't technically 'together'. We had dated for 17 months when he decided he needed space. We didn't see much of each other for 3 months. Around Thanksgiving, he started stopping by work, and then by my house at random times.
We began spending more time together, but we never really had "the talk". After several months, it got to me. He'd try to be bossy, and I'd return w/ "you can boss me around when you give me a velvet box". That shut him up.
We were together just about every day. We did everything together. And yet, I was not his girlfriend.
He went to Colorado to interview for a job, and when he came back, he joined me and my family on an East Coast vacation to DC and Boston. He'd never been. He'd surprised me by holding my hand -in public. He'd met my ENTIRE FAMILY those 2 weeks. They'd been calling him my boyfriend - and I had apologized to him for it, but he said he didn't mind.
We got home just before my 19th birthday. He made that an extra special day for me. He bought a CD car stereo for me, took me to lunch, took me to dinner... it was a great day.
All this time, he wouldn't say "I love you".
After the time we'd spent, I really thought things were going to change. I actually went to the mall and tried on rings - just for fun. I asked around to who would be able to create the ring I wanted (a diamond w/ our birthstones on either side). I mentioned to him I went looking at jewelry that day, and he got upset.
He began becoming distant again. And I'd put it in my mind that it needed to end. There were a few guys from church and school who had expressed interest, I'd finally made my mind to become available.
And then that night... He'd taken me to dinner, we went to the video store and picked out a few movies. He was pretty quite the whole night. He asked if I wanted to go for a walk - at 9pm on a Thursday night. We went to downtown Sylvania, he parked the car, and leaned over and said "You've always wanted a velvet box" I started to cry. And then he opened it - it was empty. His class ring box.
I should have asked him to take me home. I don't know why I didn't. We walked, we talked, and he apologized for all the frustration he'd been causing me. I let him have it - I needed to know what I was to him - I needed a title.
He got down on his knee, and said 'How's this for a title? Will you Marry Me?"
It was my ring - the one with the diamond and our birthstones.
I was shocked, and yet pissed at the same time. So I punched him in the shoulder. And then hugged him and said "I love you". And he asked "is that a yes".
Sigh...
He'd been planning this since he was in Colorado in July. He'd bought the ring when we got back from Boston. It had taken a month for it to be made. He was distant because he was afraid I'd say no. He wanted to get married right away, in December after I was done with the semester.
We were married July 5, 2003. We have 3 amazing kids. We've been through it all - good and bad. And through it all, he's always been my best friend.
As my daughters grow, and become interested in boys, I'll be teaching them that he has to be your friend first. He has to appreciate your quirks, your faults, your fears. Only when he is truly your friend, can he ever become something more
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