Wearing Many Hats

• Wife
• Mother  
• Daughter
• Sister
• Friend  
• Maid  
• Chef
• Dry Cleaner
• Nurse
• Chauffer
• Teacher
• Student
• Entrepreneur 

This is probably an incomplete/generic list, but I'm exhausted just looking at it.  

One of the hardest things that I have to deal with during any given day is managing my time.  I've been falling asleep at 9:45 every night - partially from my meds and being ill, partially because it's non stop all day.  

Most days, I wake up at 6:30, get my kids up and ready for school and out by 8.  Then I'm out of the house:  Meetings, networking, research, writing... Then the kids get home at 3 and then I'm helping with homework, reading, cooking, kid's baths, bed.  Then I reply to a few emails, a little bit more research and writing then I crash.  

I think the thing about being a working mother is even though we all know we need to take time for ourselves, we don't.  I don't make time for me, or get together with friends like I use to.  I don't read for enjoyment, only for education.  I don't go to the spa any more, I'm back to my natural color and will probably keep it that way for a very long time.  

It's funny; in business I need an accountability partner to help me make sure I'm staying on track.  Perhaps I need someone to help me to do the same for myself personally.  I don't get it from my husband as often as I use to, I barely see him any more (work, school, work, sleep... poor guy, he needs some alone time too).  

Well, perhaps now that it is written, it will be.  Probably not.  All I can say is - do as I say not as I do, and take some time for you - your business and family need you, and you can't function without focusing on you every once in a while.  

Yes, I busted my CHRISTmas music out on November 1!

I love Christmas music.  I always have, always will.  I like hearing new versions of old classic, and you've got to admit there are some HILARIOUS parody Christmas songs.

My top 5 favorite bands include Hanson, Thousand Foot Krutch, Jars of Clay, Anberlin and Switchfoot.  And can I say- in my biased opinion - they have produced some AMAZING Christmas music.

I think part of it has to do with rehearsing Christmas music in Choirs beginning right after school starts.  My first day in Symphonic Choir in high school we began rehearsing "Carol of the Bells".

Perhaps it's a spiritual thing.  Yes, 80% of the music that I listen to are from Christian artists (or are children's music, but that's for another blog).  But there is just something about certain Christmas songs that really help me to reconnect with my faith - some songs that I will listen to all year long to help me reconnect with my faith.

However, there are some really fun non-traditional Christmas music that I just adore, and can only get away with listening to durning the Christmas season... ;-)

Here's a few songs that I love, but you probably won't hear on 'Christmas on the River' - for most of them you'll have to check out  YES FM

• "Heat Miser" and "Snow Miser"  - TFK/FM Static did an amazing job on these - my kids love dancing around to them.  (On a side note, when I was 7 months pregnant with Samantha, my oldest, I was working at YES FM when TFK was in town for a concert.  She was rawking out in my belly during the show, her foot got stuck in my rib! The band prayed over us at the end of the night.  Thanks guys, she's become quite the little musician herself).

• "Snowball Fight" - OK, for real, how fun is this song?

• "Dominic the Donkey" - You probably won't hear this on YES FM or that often on any other station, but I think it's hysterical!  

• "Evergreen" - This is one of those songs that I could easily listen to all year 'round.

• "Baby Please Come Home" - There isn't anything special to me about this song, I just love Anberlin's version of it!

• "Carol of the Bells" - this goes back to 15 years ago sitting in choir; I still love this song, especially when it rocks like this version by August Burns Red

• "Mary Did You Know" - a recent favorite.  I particularly enjoy the Spoken version of it. 

• "Little Drummer Boy" - this has always been my Dad's favorite Christmas song.  He prefers the David Bowie/Bing Crosby version, but this version by Jars of Clay runs a close second.

• "Silent Night" "O Holy Night"  "O Come All Ye Faithful" - OK, so this particular medley is almost 15 years old (wow, I'm old).  I'm waiting for it to be re-recorded, there's something about the composition that still gives me goosebumps after all these years.  

I could probably add a more, but I've only scratched the surface of my Christmas iTunes playlist.  Hey, it's only the first week of November...

being sick sucks...

I've been sick for a few months now; it started late August.  I went over a month before I called my doctor, who didn't get me in for 2 weeks.

I was physically exhausted - I was sleeping 18 hours a day, and had no energy to get up and out of the house.  I'm thankful for the Vito's Pizza delivery guy and my stock pile of food from coupon-ing so my kids were fed.

Apparently I pissed a few people off because I 'disappeared'.  Thanks for caring enough to ask if everything was ok.  No, it's not.

I finally go to the doctor and had a bunch of tests taken.  I was tested for viruses, deficiencies, even cancer. Ever day after I had the tests I was given a different diagnosis.  My final diagnosis was EBV.  I guess it made sense, but not really since I only had one symptom - tired.  I wanted a second opinion, so I went and got it.  Brand new doctor, and internal medicine specialist.  She went over all of my results and told me that at one point in my life I was exposed to EBV, but I was not currently having an outbreak now....  so my other doc was a totally nutcase and didn't know what she was talking about.

Things got scary when the doctor starts asking about my dad.  My dad is a colon cancer survivor, and his  experience with it has been hell - but also very weird.  He began feeling sick in June of 2007, and after a series of tests diagnosed with a bacterial infection - probably related to food.  Over the next few months, he was in and out of doctors offices and hospitals with no answers other than "It's not serious, or we'd see it in the blood work."  That was a relief.  Finally in the fall he had a colonoscopy - and within a few minutes the doctor found the tumor and told us it was cancer.  Dad was all ready for them to just open him up and take it all out.  But, it was benign.

Over the next two weeks, he had more scopes, and they found a 14 inch long by 3 wide tumor (approx).  Only about 1/10th of it was cancerous... which is why the blood tests came back normals - it was protected.

Through out my talks with the doctor, I was given detail about my dad's condition - how my dad was ignoring his stomach pains over the last 10 years and thought they were related to his poor diet - should have been addressed by a doctor, and he never brought it up.  I was told that the form of cancer that my dad had was hereditary and that of me and my brothers, at least one of us would develop it - but if caught early enough, preventable and/or treatable.

Fast forward to me sitting in my new doctor's office, asking me questions I hadn't even thought of.  Showing her my food journal and going over my daily routine.  Next thing I know I have appointments with specialists.

Today I'm sitting in my pj's at 1pm and in so much pain I can barely stand it... I'm hoping it's nothing, that it's in my head.  Or perhaps what I've been battling has been an infected appendix (which would suck, but it's an easy fix, right?).  When twice in one month you hear "CANCER" you start to freak out... All I know is I'm done with being sick, and I'm going to stay as proactive as I can, even if people think I'm crazy.  If my dad had just told his doctor 10 years ago he was having frequent pains, his tumor may have never grown that large, may have never become cancerous, and he'd be living a normal, healthy life.

Please, trust your gut - if you don't feel right, get it checked out.  And if the answer doesn't fit, get a second opinion.