Tuesday, August 18, 2009


This past weekend was rather busy. Friday night we went to watch my brothers and all of their old teammates play soccer against the incoming high school team. The Alumni game is a tradition, but never got much recognition - this year the stands were packed! I sat with my little girls and the 'non-girlfriend" of one of my brothers. I adore her and would like to see them become serious.
Saturday we had to go to the wedding of one of my husband's oldest friends (their parents grew up together). It was also the same night as their 10 year reunion. Hubby was unsure about going to the wedding - he was really hurt by not being asked to be groomsman. But the reunion was expensive! $75 for a couple? I mean, I looked up the prices for the venue (we are thinking about renting it out for our 10th Anniversary/affirm our vows). But still, his class should have raised money in high school for it (mine did!). And it was really stupid because they knowingly planned it on the day of 4 weddings from the graduating class - so only a third of the class was there.
Well, we went to the wedding and reception, and despite our reservations against going, we had a nice time. Our good friends were there and we spent the night talking and dancing with them. After the reception was over, we went to where the reunion was and went in as they were trying to get people to leave. I met some of his friends, and we ended up going to a restaurant and sitting with people that he really didn't know in school. It was nice - I enjoyed myself. We don't drink (meaning alcohol), and we're not used to being around drunk people. It's funny the things people will say/admit to when they were sloshed! I was told about 10 times how beautiful I was (and I admit, I looked really nice that night), but it's hard to take a compliment from someone who is slurring their words and asks the same questions five times.
A reoccurring event of the night was people who are not married giving marital advice. The best man was the groom's little brother, and he gave the toast, and was giving some funny advice about how she should act around her husband. It was a joke, obviously it was, but it was more funny coming from a 19 year old! And at the reunion, an old classmate we met as we were leaving the restaurant was asking about our life together. We told him we met right after they graduated high school, I was 16 he was 19. The guy was calling me "jail bait". And I flat out told him that nothing happened until I had two rings on my finger! Take that! Gentlemen do still exist and there is no reason to not wait until your wedding night! It is the best gift you can give your husband/wife - so allow me this soap box moment to say, save yourself for marriage wait for the one that GOD is preparing for you!
People assume all kinds of things when we tell them how long we've been married; when we say we have three kids, they automatically assume that the oldest is going to be close in age to our years of marriage. And she's not: she was born one month before our two year anniversary. Apparently at the reunion, we would have won married longest and most kids.
I am very happy with my life. Maybe I could have waited another year to get married - finish school first. But I am happy with the decisions that I have made and do not regret anything.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Maybe Next Year

Well, Birthdy celebrations didn't go as planned (do they ever?). We never did get to go out with my parents, or with our friends. There were no surprises planned. And out of almost 200 "friends" on Facebook, only a handful sent me a "happy birthday" message. But it was nice, my husband telling me happy birthday several times over the weekend, and my girls singing to me whereever, whenever they could. Flowers would have been nice, but I didn't need anything, my husband already gave me my gift a few weeks ago and it's great.

I'm trying to think of ways to better myself this year kind of like a New Year's resolution. I've decided that I want to read more, and I am. I was given a list of 100 books that the BBC thinks everyone should read. I've only read 30 - there are some that I am not interested in, but may at least attempt to read it. I find myself listening to alot of audio books. It's nice when I'm not really focusing on anything, like folding laundry or putting away dishes. It's great at work, too, when my boss is out of the office and I can listen to book, because it is hard to read while pulling staples out of 10+ year old papers.

I think my parent's dog is dying. Well, I know it's dying, but I think it's going to happen soon. They are out of town and we are puppy sitting, but he's not a puppy anymore. He's 13 (over 90 in dog years!) It's only been a few weeks since we'd seen him last, and he suddenly go old. He's now blind and doesn't have the fears or reflexes he use to (he would run from my kids, now he is letting them hold him!) Is it sad that I'm trying to take alot of video and photos of their time with the dog, because I don't think they will remember him. I have vague memories of my grandparent's dog, a black lab, who from when I was 3 or 4 - my dad holding my while I held the dog's leash and 'rode' on his back... I wish I had a picture of that... Oh to be a child again. I fear that losing the dog will take away part of their innosence...

JESUS, please prepare my family for the loss that we see will happen soon. Give us the words to say to comfort my children, who do not know of death. Keep the dog safe and healthy until my parents return, so that they my have proper goodbye to their beloved companion.

Friday, August 7, 2009

The Day Has Arrived!

Ok, so here it it! My birthday has come and is just about gone. And today was pretty crummy. My son, just barely a year old, was sick today - tummy troubles, not waking up, fever, not eating or drinking anything. I called the doctor's office and at first the told me to wait it out the weekend. Tuesday, when the symptoms started, they told me to wait until Friday. Arg! he's better now, drinking milk, even though they told me not to give him milk (but it's all he'll drink).

We got a 'new' fridge today - we bought it used from a family from our church who are moving. It's fairly new and in decent condition. Our 'old' fridge was at least 22 years old (which is how long that this house has been in my family!) We figured that getting a newer, more energy efficient fridge might save a few bucks a month, and now we have more room in our fridge and the shelves on the door don't fall off either! :)

It didn't really feel like my birthday today. The kids were kids, my husband slept (he works 3rd shift) and I did my usual stuff - taking care of kids and dishes and laundry. We ordered pizza for dinner - that was a nice treat, since I usually make pizza myself, it's been a while since we ordered out.

My parents are coming back into town tomorrow, planning on taking us all out for dinner, then Hubby and I are going out to meet some friends. We haven't done that in ages! The last time I remember us going out with friends was just after Christmas, and my son was asleep in his car seat all through dinner. We've had separate girl and guys nights, but it's been over 6 months since our last double date!

It is my prayer that the next year be "better" than the last few. I see opportunities in our future, but not sure how or if to obtain them. I see may paths to follow, some that may join together, some that may change the course of my life as I know it. The problem is, as I approach them, I really don't see which really is the best way to go. What will lead me closer to GOD? What will lead my friends closer to GOD? What would push them away? What would be the best for my family? What would be the best for me? LORD, help me! JESUS! I cry out YOUR NAME! Lead me and I will follow!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Lovely news

I'm going to vent for a minute, please excuse my ramblings.

OK, so I go into the doctor this morning because of pain that I've been having in a major joint. I've tried therapy and then they gave me a cortisone injection - BIG MISTAKE! I had a bad reaction to it and now it is all swollen (it wasn't before) and now my range of motion is blocked (they can force it under screams of pain by me). So now to prevent any further freezing they have to go in and take care of the swelling and while they're in there clean up whateve it was that was causing the problem to begin with. Lovely!

I'm glad that it will all be taken care of, but I really do wish that there was an easier way. I read "The Host" by Stephanie Meyer, it's about an alien race coming and taking over the bodies of humans. They just spray something, put on a cream and all the injuries go away. I wish it were that easy. I was talking with some friends yesterday about divine healing and praying for the sick and lame. I pray for the healing of my shoulder, more that I can function than anything, and I can (it just hurts). I know that the LORD can do miracles, but it is selfish of me to want him to perform a different miracle in my life (not even for me, but for those that I love?) It is my prayer that HE does his divine work in their lives, and I will trust in HIM that the doctors he has provided for me will use the talents that HE has given then to take care of me. I believe that GOD does provide all healings - sometimes HE does it all HIMSELF through HIS powers, but othertimes HE uses HIS PEOPLE (meaning doctors).

Maybe I'm wrong, but I do believe that the WORD is reveiled to us persoanlly and how we interpret it is our own relationship with GOD - if we get it wrong and search for the truth HE will show us the right way.

In JESUS NAME, AND BY HIS STRIPES, let those needs be met. LORD you know my heart, YOU know my needs, please... YOU are my rock, and on YOU I will stand

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Lead me to You

Ok, so there is only 60 hours until I turn 26.
Today was not a good day. I honestly had a moment when I wanted to stand up and quit my job. I would have rather been at home with my family. I barely see my husband anymore – ships passing in the night. On the days that I work, he is up with the kids, and then when they go down to “nap” he goes to bed. The problem with this is that the girls don’t nap – they play, get out of their room and get into things. Sunday, for example, I went to the store and he was still up for a bit. When I came home, he was asleep and they had eaten the ‘Swiss Roll’ that my 4 year old got from her Sunday school class. (I think I’m going to ask them to not give my kids desserts and candy – I’ll donate stickers and bouncy balls and dollar-store prizes, but I’m sick of the junk that she comes home with every week!)
Today was no different – he was asleep and the kids were up playing – I was late getting home (3:30ish). It is my prayer that my husband gets a new job with higher salary, so that I don’t have to work or we could afford childcare (which is really expensive!) God has provided for us thus far, and kept our children safe and healthy; I know HE will continue to take care of us and our needs.
I’m not sure what it is, but I really felt like giving up today. I’m not special (except to my husband and kids, and that really is all that matters); I don’t have any amazing talents or fun hobbies; nothing that I have said has ever been all that original or mind-blowing; I’m just me, plain old me. I have made feeble attempts at starting a play group for my kids, but for whatever reason could never get anyone to come over. I’ve recently started a book club, and that has been successful, which made me very happy - I think I’m a bit too involved (writing chapter summaries and online discussions).
I know that I have a Lord and Savior who loves me even when I don’t deserve it, I have a husband who gives me his whole life, and children to who I can do no wrong in their eyes. I am blessed. And yet I feel that I am being attacked – something forcing me to lessening my self-esteem, to feel sorry for myself. I see it happening, and yet, I’m not sure what it is that I need to do. I will continue to search for the Light that is to be my guide. Lord, guide my eyes, guide my heart, guide my mind, guide my steps. Lead me to You!

Monday, August 3, 2009

4 days and counting!

So Friday is my birthday. I suppose there comes a time when your birthday is no longer a big deal, but to me, it is.

My husband and I aren't great about the gifts that we give each other. on occasions such as this, because if we buy a gift, we tend to just give it after purchase. I'll get a phone call from my parents and grandparents, get some generic Facebook comments (I however send SuperPoke cakes!) and maybe my brothers will stop by.

Hubby has to work that night, and as far as I know hasn't arranged for a babysitter on Saturday, either. My girls are excited, because they think they are getting cupcakes again, like their birthdays. I prefer chocolate chip cookie cakes. Last year, Hubby actually went out and ordered me one from the cookie shop in the mall. It was so good, much better than the grocery store cookie cakes! For his birthday, which is 3 weeks after mine, I made him a giant sugar cookie cake. Maybe I'll do that again this year. I already have next year's big 3-0 party figured out...

I don't know why I feel like I need to do this, but I do. The past two years have been very difficult and emotional, and I've not really talked about it (not that anyone cared to listen). So maybe someone will read this silly little blog about my feeble attempts at making my year at 26 great, but maybe (probably) not.