Sunday, September 18, 2011

Are we ready for some Football?

Soda? check. Lunch? check.  Desserts? check.  TV? darn it!

It's like a scene from a 1950's TV show - me, trying to position our HD Antenna so that the local stations will come in clearly.  We did have is positioned PERFECTLY so that every local station (NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox, PBS & WLMB) came in flawlessly.  Then one of the kids knocked it over.

I spent 20 minutes adjusting the stupid thing; moving it to different parts of the room, changing the direction the antenna is facing.  The minute I'd get it working, as soon as I'd let it go, the screen would go blank again.  I really wanted to watch the Steelers game, but it's on Fox, and I can not get Fox to come in.  So I'm watching the Colts/Browns game, and it's kinda choppy, but I'm done messing with it.

"Rabbit Ears"

Money's tight, so we try not to spend money on things we don't really need.  We really don't watch much TV, so it's not that big of a deal to not have cable.  Sometimes I miss the Food Network, but that's about it. But we love football...

I'd like to be able to watch games on ESPN, or not be limited to what my local stations have chosen to broadcast.  I love going to visit my parents, because they have all the fun premium channels, including NESN - they can watch any Boston/New England game they want.  That would be awesome.  It's not even a option with my local cable provider.

I love having a lazy afternoon with my family.  We can sit here and fold some laundry, have some snacks, chit-chat about stupid stuff, kids running around playing, and be able to enjoy some all american fun.  And what could top my son screaming "go go go Touchdown" every play...

So even if I have to go out and adjust the stupid antenna every 10 minutes, nothing can beat the time that I'm spending with my family...

Monday, September 12, 2011

Can I really do this?

It hit me while making dinner last night - "What the Frak am I doing?"  I'm not designed to be a business owner.  I'm designed to research and write.  I can't handle the stress of invoicing and asking for late payments.  I'm stretched so thin with husband and kids and home and work... It doesn't turn off.

I really thought I could do this... I really thought that I would be ok.  Honestly, right now, I want a job with a desk and a time clock and a regular salary, maybe a few benefits.  Even though I've been running my business for 4 months now, I've still be applying for jobs.  I had one company interview me three times, but then wouldn't return my calls after practically offering me the job in the interview (I mean, how else would you interpret "Let us know when you're ready to move and we'll help you get situated).  I get it, I didn't get the job - at least tell me yourself.

I don't know if I can do this, how much longer I can keep going.  I'm tired of "oh yea, I'll hire you" but then never get a return call or anything.  I think it's funny how immediately after meeting with me a business will make a few posts on their Facebook page, then don't post again for a while.  Clearly, you do need me.

I'm just so scared, because so many things fall on my shoulder, and if this fails, it's not just me that's affected...

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Ten years.... Ten years since I graduated high school.  Ten years since I started college.  Ten years since the Twin Towers came down. 

I think it's safe to say we all remember most vividly those moments when your life changes.  I remember all the details of my wedding day; I remember most of the details of my children's' births;  I remember very clearly the day my dad was diagnosed with cancer; I remember where I was on September 11, 2001.

I was in my first sememster at the University of Toledo. I had just come out of Dr. Tucker's Intro to Communcation lecture just after 9am. I got in my car and turned on 92.5, Kiss FM; Denny Schaffer's Breakfast Club.  I remember Trisha Courtney coming on with the news that there had been a plane crash in New York, that one of the twin towers had been hit, moments later, stating that a second plane had hit the other tower.  I was thankful that I had just gotten my first cell phone, and called my mom at home.  

When I got home, hearing the news that the planes had come from Boston, and we were calling our family to see if anyone had been traveling that day, fearing that one of my family members might have been on those planes (they weren't). I remember sitting frozen in front of the television with my mom; my brothers were in school and my dad was at work, horrified by the images that we were seeing.  I'd never been to New York City, but what if that had been happening here... I couldn't believe my eyes, watching the buildings fall.  Then it began in Washington, and it really hit home.  My aunt works in DC, I could barely breath, praying she was ok.  She was.

One of my best friends was leaving for college that day, we were suppose to meet for lunch.  We did meet, if only for a little while.  Such an emotional day.  I called Steve, we had broken up a few weeks before, and even though we barely spoke, I needed to talk to him.  He was considering enlisting, all the men in his family were military men.  He ended up not, sometimes I wonder how things would have changed if he had enlisted.  I can say that we probably wouldn't have gotten married the following year if he had joined up.

I remember babysitting that night, and the little boy, who was maybe 3 was telling me about the big explosion he saw on TV at school.  At first I was shocked to think that the teachers were actually watching the events of the day in a preschool classroom.  But what if they 
knew someone who was there...  

I remember that first anniversary programs being difficult to watch.  I remember going to visit my now father-in-law with Steve, about 18 months after the initial attacks.  He was an Air Force Major, and after the initial attacks happened, put a blank tape in the VCR, hit record then left for work as quickly as he could.  All he saw was the plan crash when he left, but we were able to see all of it again (before DVR was so common).  

I remember being heartbroken a few years ago watching a special, compiled by everyday people who took out their video cameras and were taping the scenes out their NYC windows.  The videographer that was featured, I don't remember his name, but he was in the streets for some other 'Man on the Street" tapings, and he was not rushing to the Trade Center, but getting the reactions of people watching it on the big screens downtown.  

I've been humbled by the interviews that I have seen from the families of those killed that day.  Seeing how strong the young people were, hearing the things that have brought them comfort over the last ten years.  Hearing the voicemail messages left by those in the towers. My heart goes out to all those affected.  

So where do we go from her?  We grow, but never forget.  

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Football season is here... sort of

My grandpa's a Patriot's fan. My dad's a Patriot's fan.  I'm a Patriot's fan.  By marriage my husband is a Patriot's fan, but he hates sports.  

Well, actually, he doesn't hate them anymore, and I cured him of 20+ years of abuse by his mother.  She loves sports, and regularly plays basket ball and softball, usually the only female playing.  She tried to get Steve into sports.  Nothing, nada, no way, never.  Until he joined my family.  

In college, one of my classes was to broadcast local high school football games (before BCSN took over).   For those of us getting 4 credit hours, we also worked at the University of Toledo home games, but would often need a few extra hands.  Steve offered to help (or he wouldn't see me all weekend in our first 6 months of marriage).  He was usually on the field pulling cords or holding mic's.  Football became our weekend tradition from then on.

It's been hard the last two years when we had to get rid of cable. We are so excited for the season to begin, but most of the games we want to watch are not shown on basic channels.  We were REALLY upset today when the OSU v. UT game was only shown on ESPN.  I mean, really, the local channels couldn't have sent a crew down themselves to broadcast the game - you have to show us infomercials?  Fail, epic fail.   And now he's watching the UofM v. ND game at my brother's while I'm home with the kids.  

Looking at the schedule for this season, my excitement is diminishing, because I'm not going to get to see the teams that I want... sigh... But at least I have the internet...

After watching the exchange between Gary Vaynerchuk and two adorable little boys, I asked my own kids what it would take for them to NOT be Patriots fans anymore.  Here is the crazy response from my kids (turn down your volume, my kids are LOUD)

If they're so easily swayed from Patriots, what would it take for them to change loyalty from OSU to Michigan?  AHHH!!!!!

Monday, September 5, 2011

Whew...that was easy

I'd been a shell of myself all day leading up to the event.  Freaking out because I could not get 1 wrinkle out of my dress.  I ruined my manicure.  I forgot to wash my face before I put my make-up on and a zit developed by the end of the night... But I survived.

Steve and I heading to the reunion
I had been dreading my reunion for months, really only wanting to see a few people.  Maybe I should have planned my own event for Friday night...  I was thankful for my friends who were there, reconnecting in person with the people I see on Facebook regularly.

It was still very clique-y.  We were all divided into our 'groups', just like back in school.  Not a whole lot of inter-mingling amongst us, which I was kinda surprised about.  Lots of 1-ups when we did mingle, which is kinda pathetic, but we all do that anyway right?

I was pleased that there wasn't a lot of reminiscing of 'ye olde high school times'.  A few college stories, how I met my spouse, etc.  But mostly it was just talking like adults and friends, as if time hadn't passed.  The main differences were that (as a friend pointed out) we were allowed to drink and it was socially appropriate to 'bring our dates home'.

A few thoughts passed through my head throughout the night, memories that I didn't want to think about.  But it was great to know that even when I didn't see it, my friends had had my back.  Love you guys...

So according to a survey I filled out 10 years ago, I planned on being married, working in radio, owning a home and having 2 kids; the thing that I'd be looking forward to the most at the 10 year reunion would be seeing friends.  Well, 10 years later I've been married for 8 years with a house and 3 kids, I did work in radio for 2 years, and all I really wanted from last night was my friends.

Missed you guys.  Let's not wait 10 years to see each other again...

Sylvania Southview, Class of 2001

Thursday, September 1, 2011

And it's here...

OK, so the weekend that I've been dreading all summer is finally here.  It's Labor Day weekend, which also means it's time for my 10 year reunion.

I lost the weight that I wanted, found a great dress that is classy and is 'me', and I've got my girls at Amiche Capelli helping me look great for the weekend.  I've been using the Clinage products,which I am loving, but stress has still taken it's toll on my face.  Make up will help.

Looking at the list, most of the people I want to see are under the "maybe" column.  I hope that some actually attend.  I miss my friends, I really do.  I miss girl nights watching movies and eating pizza.  I miss walking around the mall.  I miss choir tips and football games.  I miss my friends.

I wish we'd been able to stay in contact better a few years ago, before everyone was on Facebook.  There are some friends who I can't seem to find; in this world of technology, you can be found easily, or not at all.  Of course people getting married can affect that as well.

To my friends, I'm looking forward to seeing you this weekend.  I've missed you and hope we can stay in better contact after this weekend.  Maybe we should all bring along some business cards w/ contact info...?  Anyone? (can you tell I'm a big networker)