AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been FREAKING OUT about this for MONTHS! It's the stupidest thing to be getting so worked up about with everything else going on in my life. But I have been, and it's just about here...
So I've been trying to slim/trim down. I've lost a bit of weight, toned up, and people have noticed, so that's a good thing. Now I need to find THE DRESS. This has been a pain! I've gone to a few dress shops in the area, and I've found that they're just not me. Well, I did find one that I loved - but OMG it was out of my budget... I'm looking for something similar. My problem is, even though I'm 28 now, and have an amazing size 2 body (I've worked hard for this, so yes I'll boast about it for a second before the insecurities return). But my personality does not match the clothes that are marketing for my demographic, and budget. I want to appear classy and sophisticated, modest but feminine. I'm a married mother of three - I'm not looking for a date.
So I've found a few that I like online, my favorite retailer, 15dollarstore.com. I've bought many items there, and it's great because it fits in my tight budget, but I can get new outfits for various occasions and events. The hardest part about buying online is trying to picture it on. We can upload our faces to buy glasses online, why can't we upload our measurements or a picture and try dresses 'on' online? Someone should get on that right now. (you see it here, August 23, 12:11am EST this was written - it's my idea!)
I never really liked shopping - it's always been such a chore for me. I never really went shopping for clothes with my friends, it just wasn't important to me then, and still really isn't now. However, because I'm the face for my business, I need to be presentable. Even a big smile on my face and joy in my voice isn't going to hide the fact that I don't have clothes that fit me they way they should.
A lot of it stems back to school. My mom, bless her, hid my frail body in clothes that were always WAY to big for me. I'd become anorexic for a while, thinking if I lost weight she'd buy me medium size tops instead of larges. All these years later, I still have those shirts. And the only times they ever "fit" me were when I was 9 months pregnant.
I hate clothes. I hate that I'm only 5'4" and every time I find a dress or skirt or pants that I like, it's either too long or too short. Goodness what's the deal with skirts/dresses that BARELY go past your bottom? and they not even wearing leggings or shorts or something with it - really, eww.
And why does everything have to be super low cut? I mean, really? I know they say if you've got it flaunt it - but I don't have anything to flaunt, and I really don't want to see you flaunt it. Respect others, and respect yourself: Please cover them up!
So I guess I'll go back to my online shopping - I think I've got it down to four, and I'll probably buy two...
Why does it have to be so freaking hard?
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