Our First Surgery

My little guy was the first of my kids to need a procedure done.

He had his adenoids out a few days ago, though we've been planning for this for a couple of months (delayed due to weather and pregnancy issues.)

Aside from his awful snoring, and possible sleep apnea, his speech and hearing was greatly affected by the 85% blockage his adenoids had caused.  We'd been slowly preparing him for this day, calling it a procedure, and not a surgery.  I don't know why, that just sounded better to us.  When we did use the word "surgery," it was our daughters who freaked out, not him.

The night before we let him stay up to hydrate and snack.  I think he outlasted daddy, who fell asleep on the couch at 10,  Steven went to bed shortly after.  The next morning, we let him stay in bed until we had to go, we didn't want to have to worry about him asking for breakfast.  But he didn't, thankfully.

He brought his favorite puppy with him, and when we were checking in, they even gave puppy a wrist band.  He hated having to put on the hospital pajamas, and when they said he couldn't wear his underwear, just incase he had an accident, he asked if he had to wear a baby diaper (so cute).

The nurses all adored him.  Anytime someone new came in the room, they'd ask "Can you tell me you're whole name?" and all giggled when he did… something about the way he said "The Third" I think.  The anesthesiologist came in to talk with us, again, he was quite impressed with how thorough the answers to his questions Steven gave him.

The anesthesiologist gave me some advice regarding the baby… he could see I was having contractions.  When I told him I was only 31 weeks he explained why the steroid shots are good, and that if I can make it past at least 32 weeks, baby will be perfectly fine.  He filled it with a lot of technical stuff, which I tried to look like I was listening to, but I was here for Steven today.

Steven started to freak out a bit after all the nurses left, and then he heard "Dr. Duck."  Dr. Merrill was absolutely fabulous, and made Steven feel so much better.  And me, for that matter.  I hated saying goodbye to my guy, but I knew he was in good hands.

And quick hands too.  The procedure was done in less than 20 minutes.  I was so anxious to see him.  I guess when it was over and they stopped the anesthesia, he woke up and freaked out.  So they gave him more "giggle gas" to calm him down.

When they brought me to him, he looked so sad.  The nurses were trying to feed him a mashed up popsicle, but he didn't want it.  He just wanted to go home.  And he was mad that there was no TV - the nurses told him in pre-op that he could watch TV.

He got sick as he was being wheeled out to the car, which I was afraid of.  But also kinda glad it didn't happen in the car.

He just relaxed and watched cartoons for a few hours, we both napped for a bit (stressful day for a pregnant mom).  When he woke up, with the exception of a raspy voice, he was almost normal.  I took the advice of friends and programed his Tylenol/Motrin doses for every 3 hours, on the dot, and that seemed to keep any pain away.  He wasn't 100%, but was playing with his toys, and looking at books and moving around just fine.

Two days later, not so much.  I really wanted to take my daughters to their JBQ tournament (Thank you Dillingham Family!), but due to my condition and Steven, hubby wouldn't let me take the almost 4 hour drive.  Which, as much as I hated it, ended up being a good thing.  Poor guy did not have a good morning, and refused to get out of bed for several hours.  I kept up with his meds, but it took a while to get him up and going.

Now, therapy foods:  Room temperature definitely worked best for him.  I had purchased PediaSure, pudding and Jell-o, as well as Go-Gurts and Ice-Pops.  He really only wanted the pudding, Jell-o and PediaSure.  Oh, and my Shakes from New-Trition (though I made him his own at home without ice).  He really wanted a grilled cheese sandwich, but I was told not to let him eat until day 4 or 5.  He didn't like that so much.

We went in to this procedure knowing that his adenoids were huge, and that was affecting the number, and severity, of his ear infections, which in turn affected hearing and speech.  Within the first day, we noticed improvements.  The first time I heard him say "Samantha" and not "Saman-ta" I almost cried.

Thanks again to Dr. Merrill for taking such amazing care of my son.

My Issues with Common Core Curriculums

Common Core

It's a phrase that most parents I know have come to dread.

I understand that it's just a level of standards that they children need to learn by the end of the year, and how the teachers teach it is their discretion.

However...  The programs that appear to have been made available to the teachers are, in my honest opinion, ridiculous.

I'm annoyed at the fact that my daughters rarely come home with homework.  They can't build a study routine when they don't have studying to do.  We limit screen time, so these practice websites are not my top choice.  I purchased math workbooks to supplement, but it's not enough.  And when they do come home with homework, we are overwhelmed with questions, because it's a printed page, and there is no text book to help them find the answers.

My biggest critique is of this math program; it doesn't cater to my eldest daughter's learning style.  2+2=4.  It always will.  She hates having to learn all these other devices to come up with the same answer.   And the terminology they want the kids to learn.  It's all "grouping;" not carrying over or borrowing.  If you want to make it make sense, use terms that a kid will understand.

My eldest is learning multiplication now.  I don't remember learning it until the fourth grade, she's in third.  But some of the stuff she's brought home looks like algebra, which isn't a bad thing, necessarily.  But the problems are written poorly:

2 x 2 + 2 = __

So, does anyone see the problem with this question?

(2 x 2) + 2  = 6

2 x (2 + 2)  = 8

So which is it that they're asking for?  I had her write it both ways… a week later, I haven't seen the graded assignment, so I don't know which was the answer they were looking for.

Then we get things like this:

This is a practice test.  There is no explanation that each X=1 "creature."  Then, what if the child doesn't know that an ant has 6 legs or the spider has 8 legs, because they haven't covered insects in science.  

For my husband to see homework like this and say "Maybe it is time to look into private school," it's serious.  

I know from the parent-teacher conferences a few months ago that their teachers aren't happy with this curriculum, but don't mind the standards.  Both my girls have exhibited exceptionally high standardized test scores (which is what schools ALL ABOUT, right?) and read/comprehend 2 grade levels above where they are.

But they are bored; not feeling challenged, but confused by the "silly work."

Seriously, though… homeschooling and private school are starting to look a lot better now...

Dr. PetPlay is in the House

We recently got a few new iPad games for our kids, that had been free during the Christmas Season.

Dr. PetPlay was one of these games (usually $2.99).

My middle child loves animals (especially cats) and would like to be a vet when she grows up.  So this game was PERFECT for her.  And her enormous collection of stuffed animals made for a full waiting room.

The kids have spent their days being snowed in taking care of their animals.  I was doing some work when I heard an awful cry coming from "The Doctor's Office."  It was my son.  And his beloved puppy Shadow (named after my parent's dog) had not one, but two broken legs!  Thank you creators of Dr. PetPlay for that image for my son.

The tears on his face were real, and the sadness in his voice.  But Dr. Emmalee told him that with some bandaids and rest, puppy would be all better.

We've recently been bombarded with animals who needed homes, temporary and permanent.  After the snowstorm left an animal shelter without heat, my heart broke and I wanted to help.  But I also know the kids wouldn't want to give the animal back, and we're not really in a place to be taking in any animals, especially cats or untrained puppies.

So we'll continue on with the stuffed animals, and visiting adopt-a-thons, waiting for that time when a pet will be a part of our family…. many, many years from now.

Tummy Aches Return

In the past, we'd dealt with tummy troubles for our eldest.  Now it's my middle child's turn.

E has been having tummy issues for months, so after discovered the pattern of right after every meal, we cut everything out and went vegan and gluten free for a few weeks.  We slowly added everything back, and found the culprit: dairy.

So we invested in the lactose pills for her to take at meal times, and started giving her pro-biotic pills daily.  As long as she takes her meds, she's fine.  For the most part, the school has been accommodating to her, giving her dairy free options.  But in the case of snacks from classmates, she's often needing reminders to take a pill before she eats it - even dairy in baked goods upset her tummy.

I've been researching natural ways to help her deal with it, even been given some seemingly contradictory advice.  But the consensus is to just ELIMINATE all dairy for 3 to 6 months, then introduce it.

That means soy/almond milk alternatives, which can be pretty pricy.  She was mostly upset about not being able to have sour cream on her tacos… her favorite part.

Any other Lactose Free families out there with suggestions for me?

Our Take on "Bread and Milk" Videos

Three extra days of winter break…  It would be an understatement to say the kids got a bit stir crazy.

My husband had shown them the infamous "Bread and Milk" YouTube videos, and our theatrical children wanted to make their own.

And so, we did.

We were in fact running low on milk, but the Level 3 Emergency that we were under (making it illegal to be on the roads) was going to be lifted soon.  

Regardless, the kids had a blast making this, and I crack up every time I see my son on the screen.  

Snomageddon 2014

Well, 2014 has certainly been fun!

Living in the midwest, particularly our part of the midwest, snow can be hit or miss.  We always seem to be on the cusp of any snow storm that has potential to close the county.

Not this year!

Winter Storms Henry and Ion shut us in, even giving the kids a few extra days off of school from Christmas/Winter break.  The hardest part is dealing with the temperatures: The kids WANT to go play in the now, but it's -7 degrees at 1in the afternoon: not really happening.

All bundled up for 5 minutes of play

Snow has kept them in for the most of the past 2 weeks, and they're getting stir crazy in the house.  Wasn't it just a couple of weeks ago when we could go for a walk?  Now we can't even step outside the house.  

It was so cold today that we tried the whole "toss boiling water into the air to make snow" thing.  Yup, it totally worked.  And it was awesome!

The girls were able to get ahead on their bible quizzing verses, and our son is enjoying all the toys he got for Christmas. But they really miss their friends and having someone other than their sibling to play with.  School should be back in session tomorrow, right?  

AND with this snow emergency (making it illegal to be on the roads, thus businesses are closed), it only figures that I would get a random pregnancy craving...

New Years Resolutions?

I don't have any real "New Years Resolutions."  Something always happens and I fail.

Especially now with as sick as I've been, I'm not going to try anything too crazy.  I'd say "get healthier," but my doctor doesn't care what I eat or drink at this point, as long as I can keep it down.

With the birth of our 4th child coming however, I really want to try to be more frugal this year.

I coupon occasionally, when it's products that we'd regularly use.  I don't do the 'extreme coupon-ing' for major stocking up; I don't buy 12 newspapers and the thought of ordering coupons by mail is weird to be, but some people swear by it.   But I love reading coupons blogs to see what kind of deals I can get, if I could manage to get my hand on THAT many coupons…

Me and the Coupon Queen herself, Joni Meyer-Crothers at her book signing (FreeTastesGood.com)

I've started researching to make my own cleaning and beauty supplies… some other DIY things to save money.  

We thought about cloth diapers for the baby, but not sure how the childcare situation will be yet long term, and not everyone is a fan of cloth diapers.

I'm taking the pants that my daughters, which they had received from my cousins, and have grown to tall for (thank you elastic adjusted waistbands!) and turning them into skirts.  I don't have a wide variety of Maternity clothes, but I've found patterns to make my own… the catch is finding the energy to do it…

I know many moms who have started their own side businesses - crafts, skin care, etc.  But I'm not that crafty and you have to spend money and make a ton of products in hoping to sell a few.

I've tried to sit through those survey sites, too, but I never seem to qualify, so it's almost a waste of my time…

I have a Sam's Club Membership, I'd like to start doing more bulk meal preparations, but again, a lot of it has to do with time and energy…

So at this point, I'm just trying to cut as many corners as I can, trying to set money aside for things like Bible Quiz trips, and maternity leave.

What money saving tips are you using?  Any suggestions for me?

Surviving my first year with P.O.T.S.

My New Year's resolution for 2013 was to eat healthier and run a 5k.    Who would've thought cutting out french fries and soda would darn near kill me….

I'd been diagnosed with NCS after the birth of my daughter Samantha in 2005.  I'd been exhibiting symptoms for YEARS, but because they came and went, and seemed 'unrealistic' to my childhood pediatrician, it was untreated.

I'd spent a few years taking Toporol and a variety of Beta Blockers, all of which were absolutely awful, and actually caused some pretty severe anxiety issues.  One morning I woke up and decided that I wasn't going to allow the headaches and dizzy spells control my life, and I threw my pills away, in Jesus Name!

I'd been symptom free for about 3 years, a few bad days here and there, but nothing like it had been.  Then Pastor called for a church-wide Daniel Fast, and I thought it was a perfect time for me to cut my yucky soda habit.

And no, I'm not exaggerating when I say it almost killed me - started having my first 'episode' (considered by my neurologist to be seizures) while driving.  Not good, but I was able to pull over before things really got dark. 

I didn't really realize what was going on.  I did a 48 hour detox water drink (water, cucumbers, lemon and mint), to help cleanse out the chemicals in my body.  It was suppose to last a week, but I couldn't handle more than 2 days.

I switched to just water, no juice and NO SODA and still felt really dehydrated, like I was voiding more than I was taking in, when I knew I was drinking at least 70 oz each day.  Then other weird symptoms started to develop.  My word would slur, or I'd use the wrong word completely.  I'd loose focus, and would be extremely exhausted.  All this within a 1 week period.  I went to my doctor (who was a new doctor, fresh out of med school), who was testing me for diabetes, everything came back normal.

So I went to Facebook to lament.  I'm thankful I did, because a few high school classmates of mine had also recently experienced similar symptoms and had been given a diagnosis of POTS.  So I looked it up.  Sure enough, everything I'd been experiencing was right there.  So I printed out the information I found and brought it to my next appointment.  She'd heard of POTS, but was told in one lecture that covered it, that she'd likely never see a case.

As it happens, she'd had a patient come in earlier that day who also had already been diagnosed with POTS, and was picking her brain about her condition because her case reminded me a lot like mine.  My doctor told me that the brain fog and word jumbles were this other patients biggest hurdle, as she was a university professor.

The more research I did, the more people I spoke with, I realized that this was going to be another fun battle.  I needed to maintain my BP or the seizure would start again (Gotta love when the Doctor tells you to add salt and caffeine to your diet) and I needed to keep my stress levels low (Did I mention I have 3 kids?).

We tried some meds but I hated them.  The Beta blockers gave me anxieties again, and the BP meds made me exhausted.  I phased them out and trusted in Healing, because medications were not the answer.  I adjusted my diet, added salt (I honestly don't use salt in my cooking) and enjoyed my tea and soda.  I also forced myself to drink more sports drinks (the zero calorie ones, which are gross, in my honest opinion).

Now that I'm pregnant, it's brought on all kinds of new experiences… (See my other blog Sociably Surviving Hyperemesis).

I still have bad days, and I've learned from others with POTS and from experience what triggers can be such as antibiotics and dehydration.  I may have to deal with this condition from time to time, but I'm not going to ever let it control me.  

What CHRISTmas means to me

I really wanted a low-key Christmas this year.

With as sick as I've been, I didn't want to have to cook, I didn't want to go anywhere, I couldn't even handle going shopping for gifts.

Thanks to my husband and online shopping for the gifts, the kids were pleased with the gifts they received.  They didn't get many gifts from us, but what they got they were thankful for.  We did have a big surprise hiding for them, but without them knowing that any other gifts were coming, they were happy with new gloves and fun slippers and crafts.

It's been our tradition for the last 9 years to go around and look at the lights in some of the neighborhoods here in town.  There is one in particular that just about every house is decorated.  Some are kinda gaudy, with every possible inflatable in their yard and every inch of the house covered in lights.  Others are more subtle, but those are my favorites.

We saw more Nativity scenes this year… which is really what the focus should be.  There are houses with a star on the roof with strings of light going down to the manger scene - I've always liked that.  But there was one house… I really want to get this for our house next year.  It was 3 panels: on the left, shepherds and the angels, on the right, the wise men, and in the center, Jesus, Mary and Joseph.  It was subtly lit, but so beautiful.

While in the car for 45 minutes the kids were sharing what Christmas means to them.  "It's not about Santa, it's about Jesus" was the most common thing heard.  That made me happy.  We've NEVER encouraged Santa.  We've always made sure the kids knew who their gifts came from: us.  But this year at school, Santa was pushed REALLY hard on 2 of the 3 kids.  My younger two had Elf on the Shelf in their classrooms, and were suddenly convinced that Santa was really real.  But that night, it was all about Jesus.

My 5 year old son had the most precious things to say.  He told me on Christmas Eve night that Jesus is the most important thing in the world, and that He is real.  And you can feel Him in your heart, and that He loves us very much.  Christmas morning, I pulled him aside after all the gifts were open to ask if he knew who Santa was.  His answer: Jesus, because He gives us the best gift of all!  Proud Mom, right here!

I sit here, my kids reading the new books they received, sitting on their new beanbag chairs, while the tree sits in the corner, and I'm so thankful for the blessings that we have: each other.

Body Images

Being a woman is tough... it's absolutely awful at times.

Women can be mean and judgmental... don't deny it, we try not to be, but we all make at least one mean comment in our lives.

There aren't many women who portray themselves as the positive role model that I'd want for my daughters.  So that's who I've got to become.  But who do I look up to?

So many women look to Hollywood as to what they should be like.  Hollywood is a lie.  When I read this recent article about Jennifer Lawrence and airbrushing, I was sick to my stomach.  She's gorgeous, and even with the makeup on, they still felt the need to paint her face more and make her look skinnier.  It made me sad, and yet I was glad to know she didn't appreciate it either.

I'm the first to admit that I'm fairly plain... I hate make-up, but use it for "special occasions."  I had a hormone imbalance that caused acne in my adulthood that no product would remedy.  I don't have the money to get my hair done every other month, and my mousey brown hair is dull.  I have health issues preventing me from being as athletic as I use to be; I'll never have the skinny chicken legs I'd always wished I had. I've got stretch marks and hips from carrying 3, now 4, babies.

And you know what, I'm OK with that.  Will I be parading around in a 2-piece bathing suit?  No.  I'm too modest for that, my body is mine and it's private.  I'm not going to be ashamed of the body and face that I have, but I'm going to take care of it.  Will I go on crazy diets to be a size 2?  Probably not.  But I'll eat right, drink my protein shakes and take my kids for walks and on bike rides.

While I do all these things, to show my girls who a real woman is, I can't be the only one.  I want their teachers, their baby sitters, their friends' moms, and their friends, to also be confident in themselves.  While I show them daily who I am in my, my husband's, and in God's eyes, I pray that the other women in their lives will also look away from what 'popular culture' is telling them is appropriate, and look to God for what is right.

We are made in His image, and we should take care of the body we've been given, but we shouldn't be looking to gross exaggerations of what some Hollywood photographer thinks a beautiful woman is.

Me, all dolled up

Me, on a normal day

Baby #4

My husband and I are excited to be welcoming baby #4 into the family this spring.  I've been journaling since we found out, though only now making it public.

It's been a difficult pregnancy, so I've been in hiding, literally, for months.

Thankful to now be somewhat active again.

Follow along with my journey at  Sociably Surviving Hyperemesis Gravidarum 

Tummy aches that won't go away...

"Mommy... I have a tummy ache" is heard more in my house that anything else.

It's tough, because there really isn't ANYTHING that I can do.

S has been dealing with it for almost a year.  We honestly thought she was making it up, because she didn't exhibit any tummy troubles.  We thought it was because she was nervous about something, or that she was having problems at school, or just wanted a bit more attention.

J has been dealing with it since Christmas.  We all got the flu around the same time, but both J and Steve had it the longest.  Steve was diagnosed with colitis, and even though the doctor didn't say that's what J had, the symptoms were the same, so we'll run with it.  And we knew that it wasn't just going to go away over night, it would be a small battle.  So every few weeks, a fever would pop up, keeping him home from school, and his tummy would hurt.  

S was different.  The pediatrician told us to cut out dairy for a week, she assumed it was Lactose intolerance.  So we tried it.  Nothing changed.  We tried gluten free, and it improved a bit, but the minute she had a PB&J, the tummy aches were back.  It was hard for me because I knew what she needed, but it seemed that everyone around me thought I was making it up.  

Then her behavior started to change, she started losing her focus.  She was still the same girl, but easily distracted.  She couldn't stay focused at her soccer games, and couldn't run because her tummy hurt.  I knew it was time to put my foot down, and this time Steve was 110% behind me.  

So we cut it ALL out: no dairy, no gluten, no sugar, no artificial colors.  All she's eating is vegetables, rice, beans and meat.  It's starting to get a little boring for lunches - salad every day.   And you can only prepare chicken so many ways....  But within a week, she began to improve.  She could sit and do her homework without being easily distracted; she was sleeping better and not waking up tired; she was able to memorize her piano recital songs; she's running and riding her bike faster too.  

We occasionally ride bikes to school.  It's about a mile and a half, and was taking us 15-20 minutes to get to school.  I'd have to slow down and wait for her.  Last week, we did it in 10 minutes, and I had to keep up with her!

The thing that I'm finding to be the hard part is keeping her from eating the foods she shouldn't when I'm not around.  Even if I remind her right before I leave her, and remind the adults, she's still a kid and doesn't want to be excluded.  I was so proud of her last week; there was a birthday party in her class and they passed out cupcakes.  She told her teacher that she wasn't allowed to have it, so the teacher put it in a plastic bag and she brought it home to share.  I guess I'm going to need to find some vegan/gluten free snacks for her to keep at school in situations like that for next year.  Probably for birthday parties and other events, too...

I've heard many people scoff the ideas that what we it doesn't really change our behaviors or how we feel.  But you know what, give it a try for yourself.  Take two weeks and eat nothing but what The Good Lord gave us from the earth, and see how you feel.  

Happy 7th Birthday Samantha

Born June 2, 2005.  6lbs 4oz 19.5 in

1 year old

2 years old

3 years old

4 years old

5 years old

6 years old

now

Happy 4th Birthday Steven!

Happy Birthday Steven James III

April 20, 2008 11:30a
5lbs 9 oz  18 in
5 1/2 premature

Steven, Age 1

Steven Age 2

Steven Age 3

Steven Age 4

Mixing Work and Home Life

One of the hardest things that I have to deal with as a business owner is that I’m not just a business owner.  I’m also a mom.  

I don’t have a job that I can leave the office and the work stays there.  The office is my home, and my work is 24/7.  

I generally keep a rule that 9a-3p and after 8 until I can’t stay awake I am in work mode.  But that doesn’t always happen.  I’ll get a phone call that will last 45 minutes at 4, or something will need my attention for one of my clients.  It’s tough.

I still haven’t found that balance yet.  I try to get up a bit earlier every day (I’m not a morning person, so that doesn’t happen too often).  

I spend the 8-9a hour getting house stuff done while I’m shipping the girls off to school, before I take my son to preschool.  I’m thankful that he’s such a good boy, because the 2 days when he’s not in school, he plays with his toys, sits with me and colors while I work and stays quiet when I’m on the phone.

The past month he’s been sick - a lot.  It made my days difficult, because when my husband was in clinicals, I had to cancel my meetings.  Most people understand, but there's a few who don’t get it.  

I enjoy working freelance, it gives me freedom.  But sometimes, I just wish I had an office that I could go to, get my work done then go home... Something that I could do from home when the kids are sick.  

Maybe I need to just get an office of my own, outside of the house.  There needs to be a separation between work and play.  I have a few other work-from-home friends, they all have their own “work mode” and “play mode” ideas to differentiate when their working and when they’re not.  For me, if the high-heels are on, I’m working.  

But then I fall into the ‘networking no-no’.  I’ve been told several times that when I leave my house, it’s always an opportunity to be building my business, so I need to look the part at all times - make-up, no ponytail, name tag on.  However, I love to just go sit at a coffee shop in a hoodie and jeans and get some work done, it gets me out of the house and I’m comfortable.  I know, I know, ‘if you were to run into that person you’ve been wanting to meet with’...

Sigh...  It gets easier at some point, right?

My kids in cartoon form

No School - And the house come tumbling down

My kids are usually very well behaved.  However, I think after the long weekend, they're ready for some time apart...

They are fighting over who sits where on the couch. 

They are fighting when someone takes too long in the bathroom (even if we have 2 others). 

They are fighting over what color to be in the board games.  

They are fighting over what books they can or cannot read.  

I can't even keep them separated into different parts of the house "It's too quiet in the basement", "It's lonely in my room".  Isn't that the point?!?!?!

REALLY?

Sigh... I wish it was warm enough to send them outside, because this 20degree weather is really starting to get to me (and them!)

So what do you do to keep the sanity while dealing with cabin fever?

My crazy kids!

On my mind this Valentine's Day: How Steve Proposed

I've been with my husband for almost 12 years.   On the day when it's culturally required to put our attention on love, I'm thinking back on my relationship with my husband.

I saw a marriage proposal on Mashable today - it was adorable.   It got me thinking of Steve's proposal to me.

To go clarify a few things - Steve and I weren't technically 'together'.  We had dated for 17 months when he decided he needed space.  We didn't see much of each other for 3 months.  Around Thanksgiving, he started stopping by work, and then by my house at random times.

We began spending more time together, but we never really had "the talk".  After several months, it got to me.  He'd try to be bossy, and I'd return w/ "you can boss me around when you give me a velvet box".  That shut him up.

We were together just about every day.  We did everything together.  And yet, I was not his girlfriend.

He went to Colorado to interview for a job, and when he came back, he joined me and my family on an East Coast vacation to DC and Boston.  He'd never been.  He'd surprised me by holding my hand -in public.  He'd met my ENTIRE FAMILY those 2 weeks.  They'd been calling him my boyfriend - and I had apologized to him for it, but he said he didn't mind.

We got home just before my 19th birthday.  He made that an extra special day for me.  He bought a CD car stereo for me, took me to lunch, took me to dinner... it was a great day.

All this time, he wouldn't say "I love you".

After the time we'd spent, I really thought things were going to change.  I actually went to the mall and tried on rings - just for fun.  I asked around to who would be able to create the ring I wanted (a diamond w/ our birthstones on either side).  I mentioned to him I went looking at jewelry that day, and he got upset.

He began becoming distant again.  And I'd put it in my mind that it needed to end.  There were a few guys from church and school who had expressed interest, I'd finally made my mind to become available.

And then that night...  He'd taken me to dinner, we went to the video store and picked out a few movies.  He was pretty quite the whole night.  He asked if I wanted to go for a walk - at 9pm on a Thursday night.  We went to downtown Sylvania, he parked the car, and leaned over and said "You've always wanted a velvet box" I started to cry.  And then he opened it - it was empty.  His class ring box.

I should have asked him to take me home.  I don't know why I didn't.  We walked, we talked, and he apologized for all the frustration he'd been causing me.  I let him have it - I needed to know what I was to him - I needed a title.

He got down on his knee, and said 'How's this for a title?  Will you Marry Me?"

It was my ring - the one with the diamond and our birthstones.

I was shocked, and yet pissed at the same time.  So I punched him in the shoulder.  And then hugged him and said "I love you".  And he asked "is that a yes".

Sigh...

He'd been planning this since he was in Colorado in July.  He'd bought the ring when we got back from Boston.  It had taken a month for it to be made.  He was distant because he was afraid I'd say no.  He wanted to get married right away, in December after I was done with the semester.

We were married July 5, 2003.  We have 3 amazing kids.  We've been through it all - good and bad.  And through it all, he's always been my best friend.

As my daughters grow, and become interested in boys, I'll be teaching them that he has to be your friend first.  He has to appreciate your quirks, your faults, your fears.  Only when he is truly your friend, can he ever become something more

To the people who tormented me in my youth - are you happy now?

I had very nice conversation with a very nice young lady today.  We both frequent New-Trition and have spoken several times before.  But today she shared with me about The Movement, and it brought a lot of memories and feelings that I thought had been washed away...

I was bullied.
A lot.
Starting around 3rd grade.
Lasted through college.

And it still hurts.  I tried really hard to not think about the specific insolents that hurt me when I was preparing for my 10 Year High School reunion.  A few came up, but I'd had such a nice time with my friends that I'd forgotten about the stuff that upset me.

It came flooding back today.

Being made fun of for my New England Accent.
Being made fun of for my last name.
Being made fun of because of the clothes I wore.
Being made fun of because I wasn't pretty.
Being made fun of because of spiritual beliefs
Being made fun of because of the music I liked.
Being made fun of because I was a manager at McDonald's
People calling me a liar about my boyfriend.
People saying I spread lies about my fellow softball players.
Being physically assaulted by my fellow softball players.
People saying I made my engagement up.
People calling me a tramp for getting married at 19.
People paint-balling and t-p'ing my house.

I could go on.  But I won't.  It's just making me angry.

So to everyone who ever bullied me (or anyone else for that matter)

WHAT THE HECK?

Who/what made you King/Queen Bee?  What was it about me that you hated so much that you had to torment me.

I mean, you threw freaking softballs at my head on the bus coming home from games.  You wrote nasty comments about me in the bathrooms.  You'd call me up on the weekends and pretend to be someone else, just to set me up in you little games.

You claimed that I made up my boyfriend, even though I brought him to all the dances and school events.  Then called me a tramp because I married him at 19 (3 weeks shy of 20)?  Oh yea, and while it may be taboo to you, waiting until you're married is actually a very good thing, thank-you-very-much!

You vandalized my parents house.  You even came and destroyed weeks of hard work as it was tp'd and paint-balled 2 DAYS BEFORE MY WEDDING.

WHY?!?!?!

What was it about being a bully that makes you feel so good?  Why did you waste time out of your day to try and ruin mine?

Did you know what your words and actions did to me?  Did you know I was anorexic for most of junior high school?  Did you know that I worked as many hours as I could to convince my parents to let me pay to go to private school?  Did you know I tried to hurt myself, just to make you go away?

Did you know, that because of the way you treated me, I'm afraid of what my kids will go through?  That because of you, I don't want my kids participating in team/group activities.  I don't want them to feel the pain that I did, and clearly still do.

Think back to what you did to me.  And think, how would you feel if someone was doing that to you.  Or better yet, think of how you'll feel if someone is doing that to your child.


As I write this, I'm thinking about the kids today that are dealing with bullies... I didn't have to deal with the internet component 10 years ago.  Kids today do.  It never stops, it comes home with them. Sometimes it can go on for months without the victims even knowing it.  Technology allows kids to photoshop faces onto bodies, put it on a blog and blast it out on twitter.

AND IT NEEDS TO STOP NOW!

I don't want to hear of girls taking pictures of their classmates in the locker room and then posting them on the internet. I don't want to hear another news report of a teen committing suicide because of what their classmates wrote about them.

It's making me sick to my stomach.  We need to end this now!

Parents - monitor your kids computers.  Check their phones.  Get involved at school.  Listen to what they say about their classmates.  It's your responsibility too. Raise them up!  Don't let them bully you either.  Stand your ground.  Take away their phones, TV, computers, whatever.  Give them boundaries and stick to your guns!



To those who hurt me, whether you realized it or not (You knew what you were doing, but you didn't know what it really did to me.)   I forgive you, but I'll never forget.

Game Night Traditions

I love board games.

Call me a dork if you want, but I love board games.

I'd rather play a game and talk, then just sit and talk. Because if the conversations become dry, they can be revived by the game. 

So why then am I the only one that ever wants to play games?  THEY'RE FUN!!!!

OK so here are a few of my favorite games:

Phase 10 has been a favorite for many years!  It's an easy game to learn, and it's can drive people crazy.    My husband works a crazy schedule, and I don't get to see him as often as I'd like.  So we started playing 1 hand a night.  So far - he's won every hand.  Jerk.  Our goal is to not only complete the game's set 10 phases, but the additional 10 phases that we found online. 

I Love The 80's is a game I bought last year.  I've played it a few times, and it's definitely easier to play with people who lived, even partially, in the 80's.  Playing with someone born in 1991 isn't as much fun....

Apples To Apples can be a lot of fun, with the right people.  I've played it where everyone is taking it WAY TO SERIOUSLY and you want to stop after one round.  But if you are a silly group, the game can get quite interesting...

Smart Ass.  It's a very simple game to play, but boy, the arguments that break out are hilarious!

 Telestrations is a game that we've recently discovered.  Again, it kinda depends on the people you're playing with. But it's a lot of fun, and can you can hear some very interesting explanations and back stories...

I never really got into Pente, when it was just Steve and I.  But when our kids became old enough to play with us, it became fun.  

Ahh Risk...  I have a love/hate relationship with this game.  I've been playing it with Steve for 12 years... and well, apparently I don't play it right.  Yet I always win... 

Growing up in the 80's, and in the New Millennium

I am living in the same neighborhood that I grew up in.  It's looks the same as it did when we moved here from Massachusetts when I was 5.  My kids will go to the same schools that I did. They may even have some of the same teachers (super weird, right).  

Right now, my son is watching The Super Mario Bros. Super Show. on Netflix.  OMG it's funny, yet kinda bad!  But he is loving it.  HeMan and SheRa - wow, those also are not as good as I remember.  I'll sit and watch Transformers (the original, not the new one) Hello Kitty Furry Tail Theatre, Rainbow Brite with my kids.  They've seen the newer cartoons, but for some reason prefer the stuff that Steve and I watched. 

Steve and I have been joking about all the stories our parents would tell us.  "When we were kids, our TV's were black and white, and only had 3 channels"  "We listened to 8 tracks and Vinyl Records."  "We had roller skates" "We didn't have computers".

When I was a kid, we grew up with 2 TV's, with cable.  Today, we have 2 TV's, no cable, but we have Apple TV and Netflix.

We had cassettes and CD's.  Now, we have a few CD's, but mostly we download from Amazon or iTunes.

We had roller blades.   My kids want those stupid wheeley shoes.

We had 1 family computer.  In my house we have 2 desk tops, 3 lap tops and an iPad.  Oh yea, and our phones.

When I played video games, I used a super nintendo and gameboys.  My kids have games downloaded on the iPod Touch and the Wii.  

I'm thankful for the technology that we have.  I'm thankful for the the improvements that have been made.  

But hey, there are just parts of our growing up what we think that they should know: game cartridges, disc-man, cassettes in cars; you know, the important stuff

He will never know what an Arari is...