A Valuable Lesson

I haven't written in a while… when you throw kid #4 into the mix and new jobs, things get set aside.

But today I felt the urge to write.  So here goes.

We've reached the end of the JBQ Quiz Season this year.  This has been a difficult year as far as quizzing goes, because all 3 of my older kids were quizzing.  While my husband worked almost full time out of town.  It left a lot on my plate.

EE picked things up naturally.  She's extremely shy and quiet, but fiercely competitive.  It is quite the combination.

SJ did it this year so EE would have a beginner team to compete with, she didn't want to go up to juniors just yet.

SB on the other hand… She's a unique soul, not competitive, but wants to do her best.  She actually does better in a smaller setting than a larger one, but that's an article for another day.

This weekend was the State Finals.  Both teams qualified to compete at the National Tournament this summer.  I'm very proud of the hard work they've done the last 9 months, only 1 left!

At the end of the tournament, each year the team goes out to lunch.  It was pouring down rain, and I had kids and diaper bags in my hand.  I'm 99.9% sure I locked my car, but since the viper keyless entry doesn't beep, without going back and checking, I had to trust that it worked.

We enjoyed a decent meal at Macaroni Grille.  Not the best, but I tried to keep costs low, knowing I've got a trip to Nationals to save up for in a month.During the meal, I started to feel like it was time to go.  I didn't want to be rude - the food wasn't even there yet - and the kids were having fun.  Part of me now realized I probably should have just gone.  Because 30 or so minutes later, when we left, I found that my car had been broken into, and my stereo was stollen.

It had been a Christmas gift from my husband, and inside was a CD that belonged to my girls.  I was thankful for my husband's cousins' being there to help me; this was the last thing I would have thought to have happened.  I mean, it was POURING BUCKETS!

EE took it really hard.  None of our personal belongings were taken, even my computer was left alone (PRAISE GOD!!!!!).  But she felt so violated, and found herself not trusting anyone or anything.

Our cousin and BQ coach prayed with her before we left the restaurant parking lot.  As we were driving to see daddy at work, I asked them to think of verses they'd learned that would fit this situation: to help calm the fear, the actions of the person who committed the crime, how we should move on… I was proud.  Here are the verses they gave me, and their explanations:

Proverbs 13:11 - Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.  Kids - Vanity is being selfish, and stealing is selfish, and so they will be punished.

Proverbs 18:10 - The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe. Kids - we don't have to be afraid, Jesus is taking care of us.  But we still have to be smart and careful with important things.  Family is the most important!

Proverbs 10:1 - The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.  Kids - I bet this guys mom is really disappointed that he does stuff like this.  

But my favorite:
Proverbs 1:7 -The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.  Kids - They were probably told it's wrong to steal, so they're being naughty and not listening to what they were taught when they were kids.  Unless they were taught it's ok to steal, which is bad.  They should go to church and meet Jesus.

I'm so mad at myself.  I should have gone back to check, or left when I got the feeling like it was time to go.  I try to do everything myself, and it's hard when you've got 4 kids, things fall through the cracks.  My family's safety shouldn't be one of them.  

But I KNOW I hit the button.  It never beeps when it locks,  which is a feature I don't like.  And in the rain, I thought I did see the front lights flash.  It doesn't look like a slim-jim was used, but with all the rain, maybe evidence washed away?  

I know that God had His hand over my family today.  It may seem silly, but even out of this awful and violating experience, life lessons were learned, teaching moments happened, and my kids saw me turn to God instead of freaking out. 

Two Teeth in One Day

My youngest child (for now), my little man, my premie baby.  He's all grown up now, he's lost his 2 front teeth.   Less than 10 hours apart.

I woke up to my kids screaming; I thought something was wrong.  Pregnant women don't usually move as quickly as I did.  So they came running to me.  And there it was, my little guy, holding his first baby tooth.

When his sisters lost their teeth, they were loose for over a month.  The adult teeth were actually growing in behind the baby teeth (it was actually kinds weird, I'd never seen that before.)  And they lost their first (and second) tooth just around their 6th birthdays

But for him, a few days of wigglers, and it was out.  He said he touched it with his tongue and it just fell out.  A whole month earlier than his sisters did.

At dinner that night, I asked him how his other tooth felt.  It was barely hanging on.  So I told him to get me a tissue.  I didn't even have to pull.  It just fell out.  

So now, my baby boy, my sickly little premie, my first child to need stitches and surgery, is without his front teeth.  

  

Dealing With Mean Girls

Third Grade

That's when it really started for me.  Something about 8 and 9 year old kids, especially girls, that this age is when they try to test the power of control over others.

I'd experienced it for myself, and now I'm starting to see it affecting my daughter.

I'd been made fun of for the clothes that I wore, how long my hair was, my slight Boston accent, stupid petty things.  And yet, it really affected me.  No matter how hard I'd try to ignore it, I couldn't avoid it.  It continued through junior high and high school; I couldn't avoid it.

And now it's my daughter's turn.  She was telling us about a situation, and she told us she tried to talk to the girl, but it sounded like she was trying to dish it back, and failing at it.  She was being made fun of because of how she wears her hair, and because she did Bible Quizzing.

I sat and talked with her, trying not to cry.  I told her that just because that girl might like the headbands with lots of sparkles and big bows, doesn't mean she has to.  They don't stay in her hair very well.  And if it's "too long" (as I was often teased for), maybe she's jealous because her mom cuts her hair short.  My daughter has hair that most women swoon over, asking to borrow her for a little while to take to their colorist so they can get color just like hers.

My daughter is not athletic… she's tried sports, but they're just not her thing.  She's not a bad runner though, but she doesn't want to be a runner.  She likes music and reading.  I'm not going to force her into team sports unless she wants to try it.  But she loves Bible Quizzing.  She's proud of the work that she's done.  But in a public school, she doesn't get an opportunity to share her experiences and talents.  Other kids who aren't active in a church don't see this as a real activity.  She should be proud of her hard work, and even if the kids at school don't recognize her accomplishments, I know many parents who are.

As she was getting ready for school today, I told her that if someone is trying to say something to bring you down, just walk away.  If they continue bothering you, and it's hard to ignore them, just pray for them; because even if they don't seem likable at that moment, Jesus still loves them.

As a mom, who was in her shoes, I just want to protect her.  But most importantly, I need to let her grow and handle things on her own.

Have you had to deal with mean girls?  How did you deal with it?

Snomageddon 2014

Well, 2014 has certainly been fun!

Living in the midwest, particularly our part of the midwest, snow can be hit or miss.  We always seem to be on the cusp of any snow storm that has potential to close the county.

Not this year!

Winter Storms Henry and Ion shut us in, even giving the kids a few extra days off of school from Christmas/Winter break.  The hardest part is dealing with the temperatures: The kids WANT to go play in the now, but it's -7 degrees at 1in the afternoon: not really happening.

All bundled up for 5 minutes of play

Snow has kept them in for the most of the past 2 weeks, and they're getting stir crazy in the house.  Wasn't it just a couple of weeks ago when we could go for a walk?  Now we can't even step outside the house.  

It was so cold today that we tried the whole "toss boiling water into the air to make snow" thing.  Yup, it totally worked.  And it was awesome!

The girls were able to get ahead on their bible quizzing verses, and our son is enjoying all the toys he got for Christmas. But they really miss their friends and having someone other than their sibling to play with.  School should be back in session tomorrow, right?  

AND with this snow emergency (making it illegal to be on the roads, thus businesses are closed), it only figures that I would get a random pregnancy craving...

Tummy aches that won't go away...

"Mommy... I have a tummy ache" is heard more in my house that anything else.

It's tough, because there really isn't ANYTHING that I can do.

S has been dealing with it for almost a year.  We honestly thought she was making it up, because she didn't exhibit any tummy troubles.  We thought it was because she was nervous about something, or that she was having problems at school, or just wanted a bit more attention.

J has been dealing with it since Christmas.  We all got the flu around the same time, but both J and Steve had it the longest.  Steve was diagnosed with colitis, and even though the doctor didn't say that's what J had, the symptoms were the same, so we'll run with it.  And we knew that it wasn't just going to go away over night, it would be a small battle.  So every few weeks, a fever would pop up, keeping him home from school, and his tummy would hurt.  

S was different.  The pediatrician told us to cut out dairy for a week, she assumed it was Lactose intolerance.  So we tried it.  Nothing changed.  We tried gluten free, and it improved a bit, but the minute she had a PB&J, the tummy aches were back.  It was hard for me because I knew what she needed, but it seemed that everyone around me thought I was making it up.  

Then her behavior started to change, she started losing her focus.  She was still the same girl, but easily distracted.  She couldn't stay focused at her soccer games, and couldn't run because her tummy hurt.  I knew it was time to put my foot down, and this time Steve was 110% behind me.  

So we cut it ALL out: no dairy, no gluten, no sugar, no artificial colors.  All she's eating is vegetables, rice, beans and meat.  It's starting to get a little boring for lunches - salad every day.   And you can only prepare chicken so many ways....  But within a week, she began to improve.  She could sit and do her homework without being easily distracted; she was sleeping better and not waking up tired; she was able to memorize her piano recital songs; she's running and riding her bike faster too.  

We occasionally ride bikes to school.  It's about a mile and a half, and was taking us 15-20 minutes to get to school.  I'd have to slow down and wait for her.  Last week, we did it in 10 minutes, and I had to keep up with her!

The thing that I'm finding to be the hard part is keeping her from eating the foods she shouldn't when I'm not around.  Even if I remind her right before I leave her, and remind the adults, she's still a kid and doesn't want to be excluded.  I was so proud of her last week; there was a birthday party in her class and they passed out cupcakes.  She told her teacher that she wasn't allowed to have it, so the teacher put it in a plastic bag and she brought it home to share.  I guess I'm going to need to find some vegan/gluten free snacks for her to keep at school in situations like that for next year.  Probably for birthday parties and other events, too...

I've heard many people scoff the ideas that what we it doesn't really change our behaviors or how we feel.  But you know what, give it a try for yourself.  Take two weeks and eat nothing but what The Good Lord gave us from the earth, and see how you feel.  

Happy 7th Birthday Samantha

Born June 2, 2005.  6lbs 4oz 19.5 in

1 year old

2 years old

3 years old

4 years old

5 years old

6 years old

now

Happy 4th Birthday Steven!

Happy Birthday Steven James III

April 20, 2008 11:30a
5lbs 9 oz  18 in
5 1/2 premature

Steven, Age 1

Steven Age 2

Steven Age 3

Steven Age 4

Mixing Work and Home Life

One of the hardest things that I have to deal with as a business owner is that I’m not just a business owner.  I’m also a mom.  

I don’t have a job that I can leave the office and the work stays there.  The office is my home, and my work is 24/7.  

I generally keep a rule that 9a-3p and after 8 until I can’t stay awake I am in work mode.  But that doesn’t always happen.  I’ll get a phone call that will last 45 minutes at 4, or something will need my attention for one of my clients.  It’s tough.

I still haven’t found that balance yet.  I try to get up a bit earlier every day (I’m not a morning person, so that doesn’t happen too often).  

I spend the 8-9a hour getting house stuff done while I’m shipping the girls off to school, before I take my son to preschool.  I’m thankful that he’s such a good boy, because the 2 days when he’s not in school, he plays with his toys, sits with me and colors while I work and stays quiet when I’m on the phone.

The past month he’s been sick - a lot.  It made my days difficult, because when my husband was in clinicals, I had to cancel my meetings.  Most people understand, but there's a few who don’t get it.  

I enjoy working freelance, it gives me freedom.  But sometimes, I just wish I had an office that I could go to, get my work done then go home... Something that I could do from home when the kids are sick.  

Maybe I need to just get an office of my own, outside of the house.  There needs to be a separation between work and play.  I have a few other work-from-home friends, they all have their own “work mode” and “play mode” ideas to differentiate when their working and when they’re not.  For me, if the high-heels are on, I’m working.  

But then I fall into the ‘networking no-no’.  I’ve been told several times that when I leave my house, it’s always an opportunity to be building my business, so I need to look the part at all times - make-up, no ponytail, name tag on.  However, I love to just go sit at a coffee shop in a hoodie and jeans and get some work done, it gets me out of the house and I’m comfortable.  I know, I know, ‘if you were to run into that person you’ve been wanting to meet with’...

Sigh...  It gets easier at some point, right?

My kids in cartoon form

Trouble with little girls who won't eat

I just don't know what to do any more... it's so frustrating.

My 5 year old daughter Emmalee hasn't been eating much lately.  I've tried it all:

• Let her pick out what we have for dinner
• Let her help with the grocery shopping
• Let her help prepare the meal
• Let her pack her own lunch for school

Still, 3 out of 5 days at school she brings back her lunch box almost completely full.  At dinner she takes a bite or 2, and we have to practically force her to eat more.  

When she was younger, she would literally stuff her face with food and refuse to swallow so she wouldn't have to take another bite.  

I know she's hungry - she says she wants snacks after school, up until dinner and after dinner.  But even if she picked the meal, she still won't eat it.  It's affecting her behavior and her sleep schedule.  She does eat a lot at breakfast, and I do sneak some extra nutrients in her with strawberry protein shake mix in her milk after she's refused dinner.  

She has favorite foods (spaghetti, tacos, sweet&sour chicken); I try to make them often for her.  She likes vegetables; she'll eat a few when I put them out with dinner.   

SO FRUSTRATING!!!!!

So parents - what do you do to get your kids to eat?