A Valuable Lesson

I haven't written in a while… when you throw kid #4 into the mix and new jobs, things get set aside.

But today I felt the urge to write.  So here goes.

We've reached the end of the JBQ Quiz Season this year.  This has been a difficult year as far as quizzing goes, because all 3 of my older kids were quizzing.  While my husband worked almost full time out of town.  It left a lot on my plate.

EE picked things up naturally.  She's extremely shy and quiet, but fiercely competitive.  It is quite the combination.

SJ did it this year so EE would have a beginner team to compete with, she didn't want to go up to juniors just yet.

SB on the other hand… She's a unique soul, not competitive, but wants to do her best.  She actually does better in a smaller setting than a larger one, but that's an article for another day.

This weekend was the State Finals.  Both teams qualified to compete at the National Tournament this summer.  I'm very proud of the hard work they've done the last 9 months, only 1 left!

At the end of the tournament, each year the team goes out to lunch.  It was pouring down rain, and I had kids and diaper bags in my hand.  I'm 99.9% sure I locked my car, but since the viper keyless entry doesn't beep, without going back and checking, I had to trust that it worked.

We enjoyed a decent meal at Macaroni Grille.  Not the best, but I tried to keep costs low, knowing I've got a trip to Nationals to save up for in a month.During the meal, I started to feel like it was time to go.  I didn't want to be rude - the food wasn't even there yet - and the kids were having fun.  Part of me now realized I probably should have just gone.  Because 30 or so minutes later, when we left, I found that my car had been broken into, and my stereo was stollen.

It had been a Christmas gift from my husband, and inside was a CD that belonged to my girls.  I was thankful for my husband's cousins' being there to help me; this was the last thing I would have thought to have happened.  I mean, it was POURING BUCKETS!

EE took it really hard.  None of our personal belongings were taken, even my computer was left alone (PRAISE GOD!!!!!).  But she felt so violated, and found herself not trusting anyone or anything.

Our cousin and BQ coach prayed with her before we left the restaurant parking lot.  As we were driving to see daddy at work, I asked them to think of verses they'd learned that would fit this situation: to help calm the fear, the actions of the person who committed the crime, how we should move on… I was proud.  Here are the verses they gave me, and their explanations:

Proverbs 13:11 - Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.  Kids - Vanity is being selfish, and stealing is selfish, and so they will be punished.

Proverbs 18:10 - The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe. Kids - we don't have to be afraid, Jesus is taking care of us.  But we still have to be smart and careful with important things.  Family is the most important!

Proverbs 10:1 - The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.  Kids - I bet this guys mom is really disappointed that he does stuff like this.  

But my favorite:
Proverbs 1:7 -The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.  Kids - They were probably told it's wrong to steal, so they're being naughty and not listening to what they were taught when they were kids.  Unless they were taught it's ok to steal, which is bad.  They should go to church and meet Jesus.

I'm so mad at myself.  I should have gone back to check, or left when I got the feeling like it was time to go.  I try to do everything myself, and it's hard when you've got 4 kids, things fall through the cracks.  My family's safety shouldn't be one of them.  

But I KNOW I hit the button.  It never beeps when it locks,  which is a feature I don't like.  And in the rain, I thought I did see the front lights flash.  It doesn't look like a slim-jim was used, but with all the rain, maybe evidence washed away?  

I know that God had His hand over my family today.  It may seem silly, but even out of this awful and violating experience, life lessons were learned, teaching moments happened, and my kids saw me turn to God instead of freaking out. 

What CHRISTmas means to me

I really wanted a low-key Christmas this year.

With as sick as I've been, I didn't want to have to cook, I didn't want to go anywhere, I couldn't even handle going shopping for gifts.

Thanks to my husband and online shopping for the gifts, the kids were pleased with the gifts they received.  They didn't get many gifts from us, but what they got they were thankful for.  We did have a big surprise hiding for them, but without them knowing that any other gifts were coming, they were happy with new gloves and fun slippers and crafts.

It's been our tradition for the last 9 years to go around and look at the lights in some of the neighborhoods here in town.  There is one in particular that just about every house is decorated.  Some are kinda gaudy, with every possible inflatable in their yard and every inch of the house covered in lights.  Others are more subtle, but those are my favorites.

We saw more Nativity scenes this year… which is really what the focus should be.  There are houses with a star on the roof with strings of light going down to the manger scene - I've always liked that.  But there was one house… I really want to get this for our house next year.  It was 3 panels: on the left, shepherds and the angels, on the right, the wise men, and in the center, Jesus, Mary and Joseph.  It was subtly lit, but so beautiful.

While in the car for 45 minutes the kids were sharing what Christmas means to them.  "It's not about Santa, it's about Jesus" was the most common thing heard.  That made me happy.  We've NEVER encouraged Santa.  We've always made sure the kids knew who their gifts came from: us.  But this year at school, Santa was pushed REALLY hard on 2 of the 3 kids.  My younger two had Elf on the Shelf in their classrooms, and were suddenly convinced that Santa was really real.  But that night, it was all about Jesus.

My 5 year old son had the most precious things to say.  He told me on Christmas Eve night that Jesus is the most important thing in the world, and that He is real.  And you can feel Him in your heart, and that He loves us very much.  Christmas morning, I pulled him aside after all the gifts were open to ask if he knew who Santa was.  His answer: Jesus, because He gives us the best gift of all!  Proud Mom, right here!

I sit here, my kids reading the new books they received, sitting on their new beanbag chairs, while the tree sits in the corner, and I'm so thankful for the blessings that we have: each other.

Body Images

Being a woman is tough... it's absolutely awful at times.

Women can be mean and judgmental... don't deny it, we try not to be, but we all make at least one mean comment in our lives.

There aren't many women who portray themselves as the positive role model that I'd want for my daughters.  So that's who I've got to become.  But who do I look up to?

So many women look to Hollywood as to what they should be like.  Hollywood is a lie.  When I read this recent article about Jennifer Lawrence and airbrushing, I was sick to my stomach.  She's gorgeous, and even with the makeup on, they still felt the need to paint her face more and make her look skinnier.  It made me sad, and yet I was glad to know she didn't appreciate it either.

I'm the first to admit that I'm fairly plain... I hate make-up, but use it for "special occasions."  I had a hormone imbalance that caused acne in my adulthood that no product would remedy.  I don't have the money to get my hair done every other month, and my mousey brown hair is dull.  I have health issues preventing me from being as athletic as I use to be; I'll never have the skinny chicken legs I'd always wished I had. I've got stretch marks and hips from carrying 3, now 4, babies.

And you know what, I'm OK with that.  Will I be parading around in a 2-piece bathing suit?  No.  I'm too modest for that, my body is mine and it's private.  I'm not going to be ashamed of the body and face that I have, but I'm going to take care of it.  Will I go on crazy diets to be a size 2?  Probably not.  But I'll eat right, drink my protein shakes and take my kids for walks and on bike rides.

While I do all these things, to show my girls who a real woman is, I can't be the only one.  I want their teachers, their baby sitters, their friends' moms, and their friends, to also be confident in themselves.  While I show them daily who I am in my, my husband's, and in God's eyes, I pray that the other women in their lives will also look away from what 'popular culture' is telling them is appropriate, and look to God for what is right.

We are made in His image, and we should take care of the body we've been given, but we shouldn't be looking to gross exaggerations of what some Hollywood photographer thinks a beautiful woman is.

Me, all dolled up

Me, on a normal day

Tummy aches that won't go away...

"Mommy... I have a tummy ache" is heard more in my house that anything else.

It's tough, because there really isn't ANYTHING that I can do.

S has been dealing with it for almost a year.  We honestly thought she was making it up, because she didn't exhibit any tummy troubles.  We thought it was because she was nervous about something, or that she was having problems at school, or just wanted a bit more attention.

J has been dealing with it since Christmas.  We all got the flu around the same time, but both J and Steve had it the longest.  Steve was diagnosed with colitis, and even though the doctor didn't say that's what J had, the symptoms were the same, so we'll run with it.  And we knew that it wasn't just going to go away over night, it would be a small battle.  So every few weeks, a fever would pop up, keeping him home from school, and his tummy would hurt.  

S was different.  The pediatrician told us to cut out dairy for a week, she assumed it was Lactose intolerance.  So we tried it.  Nothing changed.  We tried gluten free, and it improved a bit, but the minute she had a PB&J, the tummy aches were back.  It was hard for me because I knew what she needed, but it seemed that everyone around me thought I was making it up.  

Then her behavior started to change, she started losing her focus.  She was still the same girl, but easily distracted.  She couldn't stay focused at her soccer games, and couldn't run because her tummy hurt.  I knew it was time to put my foot down, and this time Steve was 110% behind me.  

So we cut it ALL out: no dairy, no gluten, no sugar, no artificial colors.  All she's eating is vegetables, rice, beans and meat.  It's starting to get a little boring for lunches - salad every day.   And you can only prepare chicken so many ways....  But within a week, she began to improve.  She could sit and do her homework without being easily distracted; she was sleeping better and not waking up tired; she was able to memorize her piano recital songs; she's running and riding her bike faster too.  

We occasionally ride bikes to school.  It's about a mile and a half, and was taking us 15-20 minutes to get to school.  I'd have to slow down and wait for her.  Last week, we did it in 10 minutes, and I had to keep up with her!

The thing that I'm finding to be the hard part is keeping her from eating the foods she shouldn't when I'm not around.  Even if I remind her right before I leave her, and remind the adults, she's still a kid and doesn't want to be excluded.  I was so proud of her last week; there was a birthday party in her class and they passed out cupcakes.  She told her teacher that she wasn't allowed to have it, so the teacher put it in a plastic bag and she brought it home to share.  I guess I'm going to need to find some vegan/gluten free snacks for her to keep at school in situations like that for next year.  Probably for birthday parties and other events, too...

I've heard many people scoff the ideas that what we it doesn't really change our behaviors or how we feel.  But you know what, give it a try for yourself.  Take two weeks and eat nothing but what The Good Lord gave us from the earth, and see how you feel.  

The world or the family?

1 Timothy 3:1-5 (New International Version)

Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?)

I read this verse in "Riven" by Jerry B. Jenkins two years ago. It has stuck with me, and has been screaming at me a lot lately. I am seeing so many Godly parents with children doing things that I would assume their parents tried to teach them against. While at the same time, I am seeing other young men and women who grew up in the same church (same families) who are strong and admirable Godly men and women. I saw an interview with some celebrity mom and she said that her fear of having teenagers was "Did I teach them as best as I could so they stay in the way that they were raised?" So what is it? Is it the world or the parenting?

As a parent with three young children, I am so worried that I will not raise them right. I don't want them making the serious mistakes that they will regret the rest of their lives. I wish I could just keep them locked up in the house forever, but they won't grow that way.

I grew up in a Catholic family. Church wasn't a priority, but as I got older I felt God's pull on me. I was never a social butterfly, so I didn't go out much. I didn't start dating until I was 16. I married the first man whom I had a serious relationship with. We have known each other for 10 years today. I never wanted the things that my peers were doing - 'partying', drinking, smoking, sex. I had a health teacher freshman year of high school tell us that if we were in a long-term committed relationship, if our boyfriend wants sex, after while shouldn't we respect his wishes? At my husbands 10-year reunion, someone asked how long we'd been together, and we said 9 years. The guy was like "dude she was total jail bait." No, I was only jail bait if something happened. I earned my white dress on my wedding day, thank you very much.

Today when over half the marriages are ending in divorce, girls are getting pregnant in middle school, and young people are working to pay for partying, what am I to do to save my children?

Well, I have to trust in the Grace and Love of God. I need to spend more time in prayer and fasting for my children, even now, when it is not affecting them. I need to surround myself with Godly couples who have raised Godly children and eat on their every words. I need to keep myself and my children around other Godly couples, and pray for them (we will be our support team). I need to pray for the friends that my children will have and plead the Holy Blood of Christ over them and their parents for protection.

So I know what I need to do, but how do I do it? I'm finding that Churches today are focusing on the "feel good" and not the "good for you" approach to things that are attacking our families. It's should be so important for mentor parents to reach out and share their wisdom with young parents. Not every Christian couple in churches today were raised in a two-parent Christian home. Churches should be offering parenting 'classes'. There should be a format for young couples to share their questions and difficulties; there should be open discussions (not just lectures and videos); there should be rotating small groups of similar ages, varying ages, boys versus girls. Lord, lead me to a place that this is happening, or give me the courage to bring this to my own church.

I want my children to grow strong in the Lord. But first, I must grow stronger. I must be more diligent in my prayer (and in front of the children), more active in m Bible study (and involve the kids), more involved in ministries (they keep asking me to let them help me volunteer...) Lord, show me the way!