Dealing With Mean Girls

Third Grade

That's when it really started for me.  Something about 8 and 9 year old kids, especially girls, that this age is when they try to test the power of control over others.

I'd experienced it for myself, and now I'm starting to see it affecting my daughter.

I'd been made fun of for the clothes that I wore, how long my hair was, my slight Boston accent, stupid petty things.  And yet, it really affected me.  No matter how hard I'd try to ignore it, I couldn't avoid it.  It continued through junior high and high school; I couldn't avoid it.

And now it's my daughter's turn.  She was telling us about a situation, and she told us she tried to talk to the girl, but it sounded like she was trying to dish it back, and failing at it.  She was being made fun of because of how she wears her hair, and because she did Bible Quizzing.

I sat and talked with her, trying not to cry.  I told her that just because that girl might like the headbands with lots of sparkles and big bows, doesn't mean she has to.  They don't stay in her hair very well.  And if it's "too long" (as I was often teased for), maybe she's jealous because her mom cuts her hair short.  My daughter has hair that most women swoon over, asking to borrow her for a little while to take to their colorist so they can get color just like hers.

My daughter is not athletic… she's tried sports, but they're just not her thing.  She's not a bad runner though, but she doesn't want to be a runner.  She likes music and reading.  I'm not going to force her into team sports unless she wants to try it.  But she loves Bible Quizzing.  She's proud of the work that she's done.  But in a public school, she doesn't get an opportunity to share her experiences and talents.  Other kids who aren't active in a church don't see this as a real activity.  She should be proud of her hard work, and even if the kids at school don't recognize her accomplishments, I know many parents who are.

As she was getting ready for school today, I told her that if someone is trying to say something to bring you down, just walk away.  If they continue bothering you, and it's hard to ignore them, just pray for them; because even if they don't seem likable at that moment, Jesus still loves them.

As a mom, who was in her shoes, I just want to protect her.  But most importantly, I need to let her grow and handle things on her own.

Have you had to deal with mean girls?  How did you deal with it?

Kindness of Strangers

Over the last few weeks, my family has been blessed by the kindness of complete strangers.

Joni from FreeTastesGood.com had coordinated a meal sign up for my family for a few weeks.  With the exception of 3 people, we knew none of the families who had signed up to bring dinners.

I know the weather made things difficult and prevented some families from being able to help, but their  kindness is still very much appreciated.

From the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU!  We look forward to being able to pass the blessing forward.

Thanks to:

The Bryan Family
The Cain Family
The Cavin Family
The Charles Family
The Crawford Family
The Crothers Family
The Cutre Family
The Dillingham Family
The Hicks Family
The Hill Family
The Hough Family
The Kryminski Family
The Rasor Family
The Reau Family
The Vogt Family
The Szyperski Family
The Thompson Family
The Vogt Family
The Wilcox Family

  

Our First Surgery

My little guy was the first of my kids to need a procedure done.

He had his adenoids out a few days ago, though we've been planning for this for a couple of months (delayed due to weather and pregnancy issues.)

Aside from his awful snoring, and possible sleep apnea, his speech and hearing was greatly affected by the 85% blockage his adenoids had caused.  We'd been slowly preparing him for this day, calling it a procedure, and not a surgery.  I don't know why, that just sounded better to us.  When we did use the word "surgery," it was our daughters who freaked out, not him.

The night before we let him stay up to hydrate and snack.  I think he outlasted daddy, who fell asleep on the couch at 10,  Steven went to bed shortly after.  The next morning, we let him stay in bed until we had to go, we didn't want to have to worry about him asking for breakfast.  But he didn't, thankfully.

He brought his favorite puppy with him, and when we were checking in, they even gave puppy a wrist band.  He hated having to put on the hospital pajamas, and when they said he couldn't wear his underwear, just incase he had an accident, he asked if he had to wear a baby diaper (so cute).

The nurses all adored him.  Anytime someone new came in the room, they'd ask "Can you tell me you're whole name?" and all giggled when he did… something about the way he said "The Third" I think.  The anesthesiologist came in to talk with us, again, he was quite impressed with how thorough the answers to his questions Steven gave him.

The anesthesiologist gave me some advice regarding the baby… he could see I was having contractions.  When I told him I was only 31 weeks he explained why the steroid shots are good, and that if I can make it past at least 32 weeks, baby will be perfectly fine.  He filled it with a lot of technical stuff, which I tried to look like I was listening to, but I was here for Steven today.

Steven started to freak out a bit after all the nurses left, and then he heard "Dr. Duck."  Dr. Merrill was absolutely fabulous, and made Steven feel so much better.  And me, for that matter.  I hated saying goodbye to my guy, but I knew he was in good hands.

And quick hands too.  The procedure was done in less than 20 minutes.  I was so anxious to see him.  I guess when it was over and they stopped the anesthesia, he woke up and freaked out.  So they gave him more "giggle gas" to calm him down.

When they brought me to him, he looked so sad.  The nurses were trying to feed him a mashed up popsicle, but he didn't want it.  He just wanted to go home.  And he was mad that there was no TV - the nurses told him in pre-op that he could watch TV.

He got sick as he was being wheeled out to the car, which I was afraid of.  But also kinda glad it didn't happen in the car.

He just relaxed and watched cartoons for a few hours, we both napped for a bit (stressful day for a pregnant mom).  When he woke up, with the exception of a raspy voice, he was almost normal.  I took the advice of friends and programed his Tylenol/Motrin doses for every 3 hours, on the dot, and that seemed to keep any pain away.  He wasn't 100%, but was playing with his toys, and looking at books and moving around just fine.

Two days later, not so much.  I really wanted to take my daughters to their JBQ tournament (Thank you Dillingham Family!), but due to my condition and Steven, hubby wouldn't let me take the almost 4 hour drive.  Which, as much as I hated it, ended up being a good thing.  Poor guy did not have a good morning, and refused to get out of bed for several hours.  I kept up with his meds, but it took a while to get him up and going.

Now, therapy foods:  Room temperature definitely worked best for him.  I had purchased PediaSure, pudding and Jell-o, as well as Go-Gurts and Ice-Pops.  He really only wanted the pudding, Jell-o and PediaSure.  Oh, and my Shakes from New-Trition (though I made him his own at home without ice).  He really wanted a grilled cheese sandwich, but I was told not to let him eat until day 4 or 5.  He didn't like that so much.

We went in to this procedure knowing that his adenoids were huge, and that was affecting the number, and severity, of his ear infections, which in turn affected hearing and speech.  Within the first day, we noticed improvements.  The first time I heard him say "Samantha" and not "Saman-ta" I almost cried.

Thanks again to Dr. Merrill for taking such amazing care of my son.

Looking For "Alternative Therapy" to Compliment Prenatal Care!

(Follow along my story at www.sociablysurvivingHG.blogspot.com) 

I'm currently at 30 weeks, and cannot have any additional treatments after week 34.  They all just stop.  

Now, with the steroid and magnesium, if I deliver at 34 weeks, our NICU time is predicted to be very short, doctor doesn't think it would be more that 2 weeks.

But I don't want to go into labor the week after all my meds stop.  I'd really like to make it to at least 36 weeks this time.  I don't want the fear of NICU time.  

So I'm looking to my Northwest Ohio friends:  if you know of any "alternative therapy" providers with experience in treating high-risk pregnant women in their third trimester, please let me know.  I'd really like to stop taking the Procardia, and I'd really like to make it to AT LEAST March 25 (36 weeks)!

More Snow Days

I feel like my kids are being cheated out of their education.

First the Common Core rubbish, now, excessive snow days.

They have been in school a whopping 8 days in the month of January.  It's really taking a toll on them; they're tired of being in the house, they miss their friends, they've read all their books (print and on the kindle), and the girls are almost 2 weeks ahead in their Bible Quizzing memorization.

I get it, today the high is -9… it's too cold to let the kids go to the bus stops or walk to school.  Yesterday we had a snow.  I'm not complaining that they shouldn't have canceled schools, I'm just saying, my kids are bored.

With me being on bed rest, I can't really entertain them the way I'd like to.  And I hate to have the TV or video games on all day.  They've done their computer games to practice math (which I hate, but what ever), and the printer is out of ink, so I can't print out any worksheets for them.

I'm thinking I'm going to have to stock up on some more activities… maybe even have them over-nighted from Amazon, just in case there is no school tomorrow, too.

My Issues with Common Core Curriculums

Common Core

It's a phrase that most parents I know have come to dread.

I understand that it's just a level of standards that they children need to learn by the end of the year, and how the teachers teach it is their discretion.

However...  The programs that appear to have been made available to the teachers are, in my honest opinion, ridiculous.

I'm annoyed at the fact that my daughters rarely come home with homework.  They can't build a study routine when they don't have studying to do.  We limit screen time, so these practice websites are not my top choice.  I purchased math workbooks to supplement, but it's not enough.  And when they do come home with homework, we are overwhelmed with questions, because it's a printed page, and there is no text book to help them find the answers.

My biggest critique is of this math program; it doesn't cater to my eldest daughter's learning style.  2+2=4.  It always will.  She hates having to learn all these other devices to come up with the same answer.   And the terminology they want the kids to learn.  It's all "grouping;" not carrying over or borrowing.  If you want to make it make sense, use terms that a kid will understand.

My eldest is learning multiplication now.  I don't remember learning it until the fourth grade, she's in third.  But some of the stuff she's brought home looks like algebra, which isn't a bad thing, necessarily.  But the problems are written poorly:

2 x 2 + 2 = __

So, does anyone see the problem with this question?

(2 x 2) + 2  = 6

2 x (2 + 2)  = 8

So which is it that they're asking for?  I had her write it both ways… a week later, I haven't seen the graded assignment, so I don't know which was the answer they were looking for.

Then we get things like this:

This is a practice test.  There is no explanation that each X=1 "creature."  Then, what if the child doesn't know that an ant has 6 legs or the spider has 8 legs, because they haven't covered insects in science.  

For my husband to see homework like this and say "Maybe it is time to look into private school," it's serious.  

I know from the parent-teacher conferences a few months ago that their teachers aren't happy with this curriculum, but don't mind the standards.  Both my girls have exhibited exceptionally high standardized test scores (which is what schools ALL ABOUT, right?) and read/comprehend 2 grade levels above where they are.

But they are bored; not feeling challenged, but confused by the "silly work."

Seriously, though… homeschooling and private school are starting to look a lot better now...

Hospital Food

I had to spend the weekend in the hospital with some baby issues.  Baby is healthy, big and strong.  Now just time to build my strength.

But how the heck do they think they're going to build up someone's strength with that food?

I mean, really?

I was there 3 days.  I had 8 meals during my stay.  3 breakfasts, 3 lunches, 2 dinners.

Breakfast was the same options every day: eggs (scrambled or hard boiled), several choice of bread, a few cereals and juice.  I ordered the same thing each day: Scrambled Eggs, Frosted Flakes, wheat toast & jelly, and apple juice and decafe tea.  I know they probably use a pre-mixed egg product, but each day the texture was different, and usually cold by the time it got to me.  The "toast" was just a slice of bread.  The hot water for the tea was never hot.  Thank goodness for the cereal!

Lunch and dinner, a different story.  My first day, I was not given a full menu to chose from, just the daily options.  I had forgotten that vegetarian options were available (as they had been 6 years ago when I had my son).  So I mostly ordered sides.  Soup, salad, potato, mixed veggies and a dinner roll.

Dinner

The first day, no problem.  They gave me what I ordered.  But day 2, they made it up!  I had been transferred to a different room, in the wing with all the moms who recently delivered (instead of being with all the moms in labor).  So maybe that's why the nutritional team felt the need to put the gross meats on my plate, and NOT my vegetable medley.  I mean, the chicken could have been edible, if it wasn't mostly bone.  And salisbury steak?  I don't eat beef, but even if I did, that looked gross.  I was offered a grilled cheese, but by the looks of the breakfast "toast," I passed.

Hummus plate, much better

Yay for my nurse, tracking down the vegetarian menu for me.  She got me a yummy hummus plate.

I've been tracking my food intake for a few years, monitoring my diet.  Especially the last 6 months.  This weekend, I was barely hitting 1200 calories, when I need to be getting at least 1700.  I was missing my protein shakes.  I was missing variety.  I was missing food that actually had flavor!  

I know they make thousands of plates at each meal, and that delivery time can affect food temperatures and so forth.  I totally get that.  But seriously?

And I was really surprised by their "Plate Mandate".  On the menu, it had a circle of what your plate should look like: Protein, Vegetables/Fruit, Carbs and Dairy.  However: At breakfast, no fruit or vegetable was offered, only juice.  And juice was listed as a "carb".  I got some flack for posting that image on Facebook.  I know that the sugars in fruits are technically a carb, but when I need to fill 1/4 of my plate with a fruit or veggie, shouldn't you offer one for breakfast?

In the first room I was in, no 'outside food' or additional snacks were allowed.  They didn't care as much in the other room, which was good because I had my husband bring me a shake from NewTrition first chance he could get!  Ahh.. good ol' Monster Cookie never lets me down!